


I’m sorry

by TheAbsoluteSword



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Anniversary, Complete 180 of a character, F/F, Intervention, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Seriouly, Suicide, Tragedy, again. DONT. If you can’t handle then then please don’t read, chose which ending you prefer, don’t read if you can’t handle mental health issues, loss of beloved, mental health, off screen death of important character, subtle clues, “surprise” ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:21:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22738702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAbsoluteSword/pseuds/TheAbsoluteSword
Summary: A typical day for Mei gets even better as she prepares for her anniversary
Relationships: Aihara Mei/Aihara Yuzu, Aihara Shou/Aihara Ume
Comments: 62
Kudos: 98





	1. I’m sorry

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic isn’t for the faint of heart. It will deal with serious issues. Genuinely, please don’t read if you can’t handle hard topics. I don’t wanna spoil but take this warning seriously, please.

Mei woke up to the blinding morning light creeping through the blinds. “Morning alreadyyy?” She whined. Not wanting to be up yet, she sighed and reluctantly sucked it up.

“Good morning beautiful,” Mei said as she got up and proceeded to get ready for the day.

No response 

“Oh? I guess she’s still sleeping,” Mei thought out loud. “I guess I’ll let her sleep in today. Honestly I spoil her too much.”

“I guess it’ll be just me today. Oh! Do you need anything from the store? I can pick it up on my way home.” 

No response 

“Hm? Oh right!” Mei giggled as she lightly smacked her forehead, “she’s still sleeping, duh.”

After getting dressed Mei proceeded to leave the room but stopped in the doorway. “I love you honey,” she blew a kiss.

No response 

“Sleepy head,” she giggled as she left and made breakfast for her day. It wasn’t anything special, just some toast with rice. Fortunately, since she has been attending a university with an amazing culinary course, Mei has become quite adept at cooking. Meaning she could make even simple things taste a lot better than they usually would.

“Mmmmm I love some rice! Been a good while since Yuzu cooked....,” Mei smiled indifferently, “but that’s okay! Soon I’ll be so good she’ll never have to cook.” 

After finishing her meal and cleaning up the mess, Mei decided to bid her love a finally goodbye for the day. “Hey baby, I’ll be back in a few hours. You know how college is,” Mei chuckled, “but I just wanted you to know I love you Yuzu.”

No response 

“Right right,” Mei giggled, “sorry I’ll let ya sleep. See ya soon love!” With that, Mei departed to college. 

Honestly, it was such a lovely morning out and Mei adored it. The sun was out but it wasn’t too bright nor too hot. Especially considering how cold some February’s can be, today was a godsend.

“I love mornings like this,” Mei smiled as she adjusted her bag to be more comfortable on her shoulder. “The scenery always feels so different at this hour.”

“Shame Yuzu was sleeping, she’d have loved to come out and see this beautiful day...whoops!” Mei accidentally bumped into someone and made them drop their belongings.

“I’m so sorry!” Mei bowed ferociously, “I was distracted thinking about my girlfriend! Ahh that didn’t sound good!” 

“Oh. Hey Mei.” A familiar voice spoke, making Mei gasp.

“Harumin!” Mei hugged her former classmate, “how’s it going???” 

“It’s going....sis moved back in town with her her girlfriend so....,”

“Mitsuko has a girlfriend???” Mei gasped as she cut off her friend.

“Yeah, Kayo, I’m surprised you didn’t know. They’ve been together for a while now.” Harumin sighed.

“Yuzu will love to hear about this! Finally we can go on double dates with another girl couple! She’s been longing for something like this!” Mei happily imagined the possible double dates.

“......,” Haurmin looked like she was on the verge of tears. She was giving Mei a seriously concerned look.

“Something wrong Harumin??” Meis’ eyes went wide as she was filled with concern at the sight of Harumin having some tears forming.

“Mei..,” Haurmin wiped her eyes, “are you ready for the party tomorrow?”

“Yup” Mei nodded, “I still can’t believe it, you guys planned a surprise party for Yuzu to celebrate our anniversary!” She hugged Haurmin. “Thank you. I know she’ll love it!” 

“Yeah.....no problem...sorry but I gotta go. I’ll see you...” she sighed, “two tomorrow.” Haurmin disengaged the hug and waved towards her friend. Unknown to Mei, the moment Harumin turned the corner she dropped to her knees and started to quietly sob.

“That was nice,” Mei smirked as she continued her way to college. Fortunately, she always left with plenty of time to get to the campus so she could afford the occasional chat with friends or family.

“Hey there you are Mei!” Yelled a friendly voice. Mei smiled and greeted her friend.

“Hello Rena!” Mei hugged her friend, “how’s it goin???” 

Rena was a woman only a few days younger than Mei. Thanks to their interest in cooking, they’ve become rather close friends almost instantly. It made Mei even more glad she chose the university she did.

The woman had red highlights on black hair and a nice dark shade of blue eyes. Truth be told, Mei felt a little jealous. She worried if Yuzu had seen a picture of Rena, the blonde would think she’s cuter

“Oh you know,” Rena returned the hug, “it’s certainly going. Parents gonna be in town this weekend so that’s a thing. What about you girl?” 

“Honestly.....I’m so excited!” Mei squealed, “some friends and my parents planned a party for my girlfriends’ and my anniversary!” 

“Really???? That’s so great! How long have you and Yuzu been together again?” Rena exclaimed with as much excitement as Mei.

“3 years,” Mei said with a growing smile and slight blush, “3 long, beautiful, perfect years.”

“That’s great Mei! I’m so jealous,” Rena whined, “lemme know if ya ever make any single, hot male friends Kay?” Rena had never met Yuzu, but heard enough from Mei to have a solid idea what kind of person Yuzu was.

“Yeah yeah I know I know,” Mei chuckled and rolled her eyes, “I promise, the first guy friend I make and think is decent I’ll inform you.”

“That’s all I ask,” Rena smirked,” now cmon. Let’s go to class.” Despite having a decent amount of time left before class, it never hurt to be there beforehand.

Mei tried to focus during a lecture in Japanese class but failed miserably. “Tomorrow is gonna be perfect! Together with Yuzu and everyone! Gotta make sure I dress like someone worthy of such a girl....oh! I can wear that red dress I wore last year for our anniversary! I doubt Yuzu would mind.”

“Right, Aihara?” Mr.Hetho asked the oblivious Mei.

“What?” Meis’ head shot up, “what’d you say?” Laughter erupted at Meis’ expense causing her to blush and laugh nervously.

“Please try and pay attention,” Mr.Hetho sighed, “you are here to learn right?”

“Yup! I’m sorry Mr.Hetho,” Mei bowed repeatedly, “I’ll be paying attention, I swear.”

“That’s all I ask. Now then let’s continue.”

“Nice work ‘Aihara’,” Rena whispered, “you can think about bangin your girl later kay?”

“I wasn’t!” Mei yelled within a panic, catching the attention of everyone in the lecture.

“Aihara.....,” Mr.Hetho started after a long sigh, “Are you done interrupted? Or can I finally teach my class? Please, tell me what’ll work best for you.”

“Please continue....,” Mei sunk in her seat and shot a glare towards her friend. In turn, Rena smirked triumphantly. 

After Japanese ended, it was time for Meis’ favorite course. Culinary. She was determined to become so good at cooking she could cook for Yuzu and know she’ll love everything she makes. 

“With a certain love filled holiday approaching us I’ve decided that we’ll start learning about Chocolate,” Ms.Yumi started as she walked to the front of the class. Everyone was wearing their cooking outfits at their designated stations. 

“Chocolate???” Mei thought as her curiosity peaked, “That’s it! I can make Yuzu some chocolates for Valentine’s Day! This is so perfect!”

“I can tell some of you are pretty eager to learn, that’s always great to see.” Ms.Yumi looked at Mei and smiled, the young girl knew the comment was meant for her.

The course went in typical fashion, Mei focused intently on the subject and Rena took managed to pay half attention and still do amazing. Some students weren’t exactly thrilled about it and were very clear about that.

“They’re just upset they don’t have love,” Mei thought to herself with a smirk, “if they had something even half as great as what Yuzu and I have they’d be begging to learn to make chocolate for their beloved. I truly am a blessed girl.”

Mei ended up making a small heart shaped piece of chocolate, unfortunately she didn’t think it was good enough. She was determined to make sure the one she made for Yuzu was perfect, much like how she thought Yuzu was.

Rena made a piece of chocolate shaped like an hour glass and even carved some details in. In truth, hers looked a lot better than Meis. But that was to be expected, Rena had been cooking all Sorts of dishes for years and Mei only really started experimenting after meeting Yuzu.

After bragging about hers being better, Mei retorted talking about how amazing hers will be. Now she had 2 reasons to make amazing chocolate.

The rest of her college day went by slowly, Mei kept say dreaming of Yuzu in typical fashion to help dull the boredom. She was half assed planning all sorts of dates, evenings out, and maybe a trip. 

Finally, she was free to head home. She parted ways with her only friend at the university and made her way out. “I still gotta stop at the store...then a quick train ride and I’ll be home with my angel!”

“I wish I could just spend all day with her, those are always the best....wait!” Mei did a double take at the couple across the street and shrieked in joy.

“Daddy! Hey! Mommy! Over here!” Mei waved her arms in the arm, getting the attention of her parents and a few passers by.

“Mei!” Ume had a smile on her face as she checked for any passing vehicles. After making sure it was safe, the couple made their way over to their daughter.

“Hi sweetie,” Ume gave her as big a smile as she could manage, “how’s it going?”

“I’m devastated.....,” Mei looked sad, causing concern in her parents.

“Why? Is something wrong Mei?” Shou asked.

“Well....ya see the thing is neither of you have given me a hug yet,” Mei said as she hugged both her parents, “but I guess I’ll do it.” She giggled. 

“Right...yeah sorry,” Shou added nervously, still not use to seeing his daughter be so affectionate.

Mei disengaged the hug and instantly hugged them again, “and, of course, one for Yuzu since she’s not here.”

Shou felt Ume instantly take his hand as he knew her heart was starting to ache. He was thankful she had taken his, had she not he’d been too awkward to do so. Even though he needed it just as much, he felt similar pain.

“Y.....,” Ume choked up and took a few deep breaths, “sure.....what you said.” Her breathing had gone heavy.

“Huh? Is something wrong mommy?? Whatever you need, Yuzu and I will help in anyway we can.” Mei declared as she looked at her mother with concern. She noticed the tears forming in Umes’ eyes and the dark circles that had been underneath them for a long time.

“Mommy?” Mei asked again after not getting an answer.

“.....I got a phone call...,” Ume pulled out her phone, “it’s okay sweetie. I’ll be right over there.” She then walked to a bench and pretended to be on the phone.

It pained Shou to see the women he loves in such pain, as much as he wanted to comfort her he knew he should stay with Mei. 

“Is she okay, daddy?” Mei asked Shou, noticing the concern in his eyes.

“......yeah,” Shou chuckled awkwardly, “she just had a phone call. Don’t worry about her.”

“Well okay.....,” Mei was still worried but figured her father knew what he was talking about and trusted his judgment. 

As much as this conversation could hurt, Shou ripped the bandaid off and started. “So....are..are you ready for tomorrow?”

“Yes!” Mei nodded a few times, “I’ve been excited ever since you told me about it!” She hugged the older man.

“Thanks again, Daddy.” She added as she squeezed.

Shou always wished Mei was better at expressing herself, but because of why she was now hurt like a living hell. “No...no problem Mei.” He squeezed back.

“I know Yuzu is gonna love it! She loves surprises,” Mei said as she disengaged the hug with a huge smile on her face.

Shou felt a part of himself die after that. He hated lying to his daughter but this was inevitable. She needed everyone’s help and they were all more than willing.

“I’m sure....,” Shou almost choked up but regain his composure, “I’m sure Yuzu loves surprises.”

“Remember...come around our place around 6:30. Got it?” Shou confirmed with her daughter who nodded.

“Yup! 6:30 sharp! To be honest I’m so excited! Like we usually celebrate our anniversary with just us. Having everyone around will only back it better! Yuzu is gonna have so much fun!” She giggled.

“Is something wrong daddy?” Mei noticed the pain in her fathers face, “you’re crying.”

“Oh, nothing,” he wiped his few tears away and smiled, “don’t worry about it! Just focus on tomorrow Mei....it’s gonna be an important day.” 

“Yeah that’s true. I mean how many times can a girl celebrate 3 years with the woman she loves?” Mei smiled obliviously.

“........right,” Shou chuckled nervously, “anyway I should probably get Ume home. She looks kinda worn out and needs some sleep.”

“Yuzu really is her daughter, she sleeps a lot too,” Mei pointed out. That comment broke Shou as he turned around to hide his face.

“Yeah that’s true. Anyway we’ll see you tomorrow Mei.” The man hastily walked away towards his wife.

“I love you guys!” Mei yelled and waved at her parents. Ume managed a weak wave and replied.

“We love you too sweetie, see you tomorrow.” The couple made their way home. Not 10 seconds after being out of Meis’ line of sight, Ume pulled Shou into a tight hug and started sobbing.

“It....hurts,” she managed to say between sobs, “it hurts so much!” Shou felt his shirt getting soaked with tears but didn’t mind.

“I know,” she rubbed his wifes’ back, “it’s okay, Ume.”

“It’s not!” She snapped, “it hurts so much....everyday it’s the same....why?? Why won’t this hell end???” 

Shou remembered the women who once scolded him for not talking to his daughter and never imagined she could ever end up like this. She was so strong and certain of everything. On top of that, her confidence was impeccable.

Now, she was scared. Uncertain of everything. Blaming herself everyday for what had happened. Her smile was usually forced nowadays. Ume truly was a shell of her former self and it killed Shou a little more everyday. Especially since he couldn’t say or do anything to help.

That’s where tomorrow’s gathering came from. Shou planned it with everyone, hoping to get Ume some closure and save his daughter. If it didn’t work than he didn’t know what he’d do for his family.

“Ume,” Shou said through his own tears, “remember. Tomorrow EVERYTHING changes. We’re gonna save our daughter.” He hugged Ume, hoping to get his feelings across.

Ume said something but she was so close to Shous’ chest it came out muffled. After all their time together, Shou knew what she said despite how it sounded. “Me too Ume....,” he choked up, “I wish that too.”

“What a great day!” Mei thought as she entered the grocery store. “I got to see Harumin, mommy and Daddy AND had a good day at college! I mean I was gonna see them tomorrow anyway but it’s always nice to see everyone. Yuzu is gonna be soooo jealous. I can’t wait to tell Yuzu about it and hear her be jealous, she has the cutest pouts.”

It was a little past 4 in the afternoon and Mei was hoping to get some ingredients to prepare a nice dinner for her and Yuzu. She didn’t know why, but she had lost a considerable amount of weight since moving out.

She didn’t mind since she knew Yuzu would love her appearance even if she put on 300 pounds. And that’s all that mattered.

After 30 minutes of shopping Mei paid and finally made her way home. “Finally! Yuzu time!” She squealed in excitement. Who could blame her? It was her favorite part of the day.

Despite being in reasonable walking distance, Mei opted to take the train. She couldn’t help but wish to be home as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the train had an unknown delay.

“Great....,” Mei sighed as she started walking home groceries in hand. “I guess walking isn’t bad, would be better with Yuzu but I guess some alone time....no. It’d be better with Yuzu, plain and simple.” She thought to herself.

It didn’t take Mei very long to return home, granted she practically booked it the moment she entered the building. She ended up almost running into an elderly woman and apologized profusely.

The older woman just laughed and said it was okay. Mei felt grateful to have neighbors like her. 

“I’m home baby!” Mei declared as she entered her apartment. “Yuzu? I said I’m ho...,” Mei got cut off by a yawn escaping her.

“Wow okay. Guess I’m more tired than I thought,” Mei thought, “I guess a small nap wouldn’t hurt me. Let’s see if Yuzu will join!” 

“Yuuuuzu,” Mei said as she opened her bedroom door. “You’re awake! Silly, you don’t need beauty sleep. Trust me, you definitely don’t, you’re already perfect.”

No response

“I had an incredible day! I couldn’t wait to tell you about it!” Mei approached her bed and laid down. She pulled the metal urn close to her and smiled. It was a gold colored urn with “Yuzu Aihara” engraved on the side.

No response

“Don’t be jealous, but I got to see Haurmin, mommy AND daddy. All in one day!”

No response 

“Cmon Yuzu,” Mei laughed, “I said don’t be jealous!” 

No response 

“I’m sorry for laughing, but it’s funny! Forgive me baby?” Mei pleaded with the urn.

No response 

“Thanks babe,” she kissed the urn, “you always look so cute when you’re jealous. I mean you’re ALWAYS cute but that little pout you do is so precious!” 

No response

“Now I know you’ve slept a lot today but would you be alright laying with me for a while? I need a small nap. Don’t worry,” Mei rolled her eyes, “I’ll make dinner right after I wake up, I promise.”

No response 

“You’re actually the best girl ever you know? Thanks,” she kissed the urn again, “I love you, Yuzu.”


	2. I’m sorry too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy anniversary Mei :)
> 
> READ CHAPTER NOTES PLEASE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this chapter will start getting into REALLY dark topics. It’s not for the faint of heart and if you can’t handle serious issues than I’m begging you to no read.

It was a little after 9 in the morning in Meis’ apartment, fortunately this morning was beautiful. Perfect for such a beautiful day for Mei.

“Happy anniversary baby!!!” Mei burst through the door into the empty room carrying a tray of breakfast foods. 

No response 

“Aww cmon baby don’t worry,” Mei set the tray down on the bedside table on the side of the bed she didn’t sleep on. “You’re my everything and I wanna spoil you!”

No response 

Mei bursted out in laughter, “Yuzu you’re too sweet to ever end up rotten. Don’t even, silly” 

No response 

“Ughhh,” Mei covered her face and blushed, “her smile is always too cute!!!” She thought to herself.

No response 

“Hm?” She looked up, “You got something for me??” Mei gasped, “Yuzu you didn’t have to! I’m okay spoiling you.”

No response 

“Yuzu....,” Mei wiped a few tears away, “I know I’ve said it before but I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you! You wait right here and eat, I’ll get it” She squealed as she left the room to get the present.

When she got to their living room, Mei noticed the bouquet of roses she had prepared prior. “Yuzu....,” Mei started to tear up.

She hastily grabbed them and returned to her room. “Beautiful. Absolutely positively beautiful, Yuzu.” 

The bouquet consisted of 10 roses. 7 were red and 3 of which were dyed to be purple, the symbolism not lost to Mei. 

When she arrived to her empty room she wasted no time pulling Yuzus’ urn close and repeatedly kissed it. Careful not to hurt her present.

“I....,” kiss, “love....,” kiss kiss, “you,” she went for the deep kiss. Only pulling away when she needed air.

“Don’t worry honey,” Mei started to catch her breath, “there will be PLENTY of time for that later.”

No response 

“Oh!” Mei facepalmed, “I’m so sorry babe! I’ll go put them in water. Go ahead and enjoy your breakfast.” 

No response 

“I’ll be right back sweetie! I love you!” Mei left the room and practically ran to the kitchen to find a vase. 

She couldn’t help but hum happily as she filled one of her vases with water. “She has no idea! God! She’s gonna have so much fun later!!” Mei thought to herself with a huge smile.

“Whoopsie!” Mei said as she almost overflowed the vase, “there! That should be plenty.” She proceeded to put the flowers in and stare adoringly.

“How did I ever get an amazing woman??? She’s too perfect!!” Mei let out a squeal. “Time for more Yuzu time!” 

“Don’t worry babe!” Mei returned to her room, “the flowers look almost as perfect as you.” 

No response 

“It’s true and you know it,” she winked towards the other half of the bed. “By the way, don’t think I don’t got anything else planned.”

No response 

“Nope! No hints! You’ll just have to wait and enjoy yourself,” she smirked triumphantly.

No response

“Geez you’re such a baby you know,” Mei rolled her eyes, “just have some patience. I promise you’ll enjoy it.” 

No response 

“Okay fine, 1 hint ya big baby. But you owe me a kiss. The hint is.......” Mei leaned close, “its amazing!” Mei giggled.

No response 

“It does too count! Now give me my kiss,” Mei closed her eyes and puckered her lips.

Nothing happens 

“Was that so hard beautiful?” Mei blushed and stared at the urn. She decided there was enough waiting and pulled the gold colored urn close.

“I know you were eating, I know. But I just really wanted to hold you and tell you I love you. That okay?”

No response 

“I love you, Yuzu Aihara. I love your smile, the way the world sparkles in your eyes. I love how much you care about everyone, including me. I love when you do practically anything and everything,” Mei chuckled nervously.

“Sorry, I planned on giving a romantic spur of the moment speech. Even though it was rather lackluster,” Mei scratched the back of her head.

No response

“Really??? You liked it???” Mei gasped dramatically. “And that. That’s why I love you. Because you’re you.”

No response 

“Yeah I thought it’d be a perfect ending,” she squeezed the urn, “perfect like you, Yuzu.”

Mei had a few things planned for their anniversary but decided against it. She believed Yuzu would prefer to stay in each other’s arms all day. Not that Mei thought Yuzu didn’t appreciate it but the effort alone showed their love.

So, they opted to spend the day the best way Mei knew how. All day, alone with her love in her arms. Mei almost teared up at the suggestion and happily obliged.

The dark haired woman spent hours laying there , staring at a wall with the urn in her arms. Occasionally communicating with it and conversing but mainly just being happy to hold what she believed to be Yuzu.

This was how Mei spent most days. Either before or after college it was her favorite past time. Holding her beloved, what could be better? Fortunately she knew Yuzu didn’t mind and enjoyed it.

“What was that Yuzu? Oh! Sorry it took me a moment,” she giggled, “let’s see it’s...almost 6! We gotta get ready!!” 

In a panic Mei hastily made her way to the bathroom to get dressed. Fortunately she had already hung her red dress, from the previous anniversary, up last night so it was good to go.

It was a red one piece dress that had hugged Mei tightly and really showed her curves. The dress was held up around her shoulders and went all the way to her knees. She still didn’t usually show cleavage but if it’s for Yuzu she’d do anything, so it was an exception.

“Should I do some make up???? I can’t believe I lost track of time! I really should’ve planned ahead more!” Mei contemplated in front of the mirror.

“I’ll ask Yuzu! She’s a beauty expert, so her judgment is solid.” Mei nodded and headed to her bedroom.

“Yuzu,” she knocked, “do you think I need make up?”

No response 

“You think so???” Mei blushed ferociously as she cupped her own cheek. “You’re right, as usual. Thanks baby!”

No response 

“Are you ready Yuzu? We have important plans” she asked, still on the other side of the bedroom door.

No response 

“Alright I’ll be waiting, take your time love!” Mei sighed as she went to check her purse. When she looked in she felt a wave of relief and anxiety.

“Just relax Mei...,” she told herself as she took deep breaths, “it’s a simple question...there’s no way she’d say no.”

“ I’m so excited but so nervous,” Mei giggled, “it’s such a strange but beautiful feeling.” 

“Hm?” Mei turned her head towards her bedroom, “you’re ready??? Let’s get going then!” 

Mei happily skipped towards her room and grabbed the urn. “Wow.....just wow.” She looked in awe at the urn.

“You’re perfect, splendid, amazing, hot, everything! I don’t even know how to describe it!” She was practically drooling at the sight.

No response 

“What!?!” Mei blushed, “there’s no way I even compete with you! I’m glad you love how I look but you’re in you’re own league!” She happily debated while heading to her old apartment.

Mei always loved walks with her beloved. Didn’t matter if they were quick or long, every moment and every step was perfect. She was truly in her own little world.

While on the way to Shou and Umes’ apartment Mei couldn’t help but smile like a fool. Not only did she get to live with the woman she loves in her life for 3 years but she also got to celebrate with everyone else she loves.

“Hm? Oh don’t worry dear,” Mei smirked, “you’ll know soon enough.” 

When approaching her parents building Mei looked at an unmarked area of concrete along the building.That’s all it was yet for some reason she felt haunted by it. She felt as if something was there or was suppose to be but there wasn’t. It was like every other area surrounding the building yet it felt like it was screaming to her. After looking up Mei started to wonder if the apartment she was looking at was her parents. Given the side of the building they were on it’d make sense.

“L..let’s get inside Yuzu,” Mei said flatly as she felt an unnerving sense of nausea. “I....,” Mei stopped to take deep breaths.

“Th..thank you...Yuzu,” Mei said while catching her breath. “It’s okay. Really,” she chuckled nervously.

“I just felt nauseous for some reason, but please don’t worry. Today is about us!” Mei gave a huge smile to the urn. 

No response 

“Thanks baby!” She kisses it, “now let’s go upstairs!”

“I wonder who’s all coming,” Mei thought as she arrived on her floor. “Daddy And mommy didn’t tell me much besides close friends. So I can assume Himeko will be here. Harumin did say she was coming already.” Mei shrugged.

“But if they don’t come that’s okay! We still get to be together and that’s all that matters.” Mei thought as she finally reached the door and knocked.

Took around 20 seconds but finally Shou answered the door with a forced smile. “Hey Mei....,” he looked down at the urn but chose to not acknowledge it.

“Hi daddy!” Mei went for a hug but stopped. An awkward silence fell upon them. The young woman started to look between the urn and her father repeatedly.

“Really Daddy?!?” Mei looked and sounded offended, catching Shou off guard entirely. 

“What’d I do???” Shou asked. The man already had a slight suspicion.

“ ‘what’d I do?’ You’re ignoring your step daughter on her anniversary......,” Mei stopped and looked down at the urn. 

Ignoring her fathers concerned look, Mei stared at the urn as if her life depended on it. Finally, she looked at Shou and spoke, “you’re lucky Yuzu is very forgiving. Hmp.” Mei walked past the older man.

Mei instantly stopped and looked back down at the urn. After a few seconds Shou heard her say “you’re right.....,” under her breath. She then turned around.

“I’m sorry daddy, Yuzu is right. Today is a good day of celebration!” Mei smiled and squeezed the urn, “3 beautiful years!” The woman let out a small squeal of joy.

“Mei......,” Shou stared at his daughter with pain in his eyes and heart. “I.....,” he then pushed the pin he placed in his pocket against him. This was a reminder to stay focused and power through this rough day. 

“Mei, you’re here.” Ume said with a weak smile. “Come in come in. Everyone is in the living room.” Ume pointed behind her.

“Hi mommy?” Mei was confused why Ume wouldn’t acknowledge Yuzu but remembered today was about them and let it go. Before Mei reached the room, Mei grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

“What’s wrong mommy?” Mei asked with genuine concern.

“.....can I speak to......,” Ume gulped, “...Yuzu.......alone” the older woman was giving her all to hold it together and it showed.

“Yeah?” Mei answered confusingly, “why wouldn’t you be able to silly?” She let out a small giggle. “But that’s if Yuzu wants to.” Mei waited a few moments as if she was listening to something.

No response 

“You two have a fun talk,” Mei smiled. Ume grabbed her urn and went to her bedroom, locking the door behind her.

“Is mommy okay?” Mei asked her dad. The man had so much to say but sighed instead. Then gesturing to the living room, Mei took the hint and confusingly walked towards it.

In Ume and Shous’ bedroom, Ume leaned against the door and slowly slid down, trying to stay calm. She held the urn in her lap and let out an exhausted chuckle. “Hey baby...,” tears started flowing down her face.

“We’re trying to get Mei to stop talking to it yet here I am,” Ume thought as she let out another exhausted chuckle.

“Yuzu......,” Ume took a few deep breaths, “ I owe you an apology....numerous actually.” Ume smiled through her tears at thoughts of Yuzu growing up filled her heart and mind.

Ume couldn’t help but remember when Yuzu attempted to dye her hair when she was nothing more than a little girl...her little girl. “I look like Papa!” Young Yuzu smiled.

Ume wanted to stop but if she did, she doubted she’d have the strength to get through the day. So, she powered on. 

“I failed you....Yuzu,” Ume stared the urn down as tears fell down her cheeks. “I....,” she stopped to take raspy breaths. 

“Hey Mama. Will Mr. Rabbit get better?” Ume recalled when Yuzu wanted her to fix a little stuffed bear she found at the park. She remembered how concerned Yuzu looked for something that wasn’t even hers and was filled with pride her daughter was so caring. This made her run her hand through her hair as she battled to speak.

“If I can’t even speak....I can’t save my daughter....I couldn’t save my...no!” Ume thought before slapping herself across the face. “I...have to....for my daughters....,”

“I failed as a mother......I failed you....and I failed Mei....,” she squeezed the urn, “I’m sorry.....,”

“I should’ve pushed you to talk about how you felt.... I knew...,” Ume wiped her burning cheek. “I knew you were saddened by Mei leaving but I.......,” 

“I’m such a failure!!!” Ume thought to herself. “I can’t take this......make it stop!” 

“I thought I should give you distance....I’m so sorry baby....,” she hugged the urn tighter, her arms hurting a little but she ignored it.

“I....failed you....but,” Ume stopped to take a deep breath. “I...you need to know that...I won’t fail Mei anymore....I’m gonna save her.....I’m gonna save the woman you loved.....,” 

Ume always wondered if Yuzu would’ve ever told her the truth about her relationship with Mei. Or even about her sexuality. Of course Ume would’ve supported them if she had known. 

“I swear to you Yuzu.....,” she let her tears flow, “ I swear to.....”

“This has to stop!” Shous strained voice roared through the apartment, catching Ume off guard. 

She hastily got off the floor with the urn and went to check at the ruckus.

Right after Ume took the urn to her bedroom.....

“How’s my favorite little sister!?!” Mei pulled Matsuri into a tight hug, not noticing the serious vibe in the room.

“Hey Mei..,” Matsuri hugged back, “she’s good...how’s it goin?” 

“Pfffft do you even have to ask???” Mei did an exaggerated eye roll, “I’m amazing right now!” Mei disengaged the hug and smiled at her little sister.

“Yuzu and I have missed you to much!” She beamed with excitement.

The older woman was oblivious to the look of guilt in her eyes. Guilty eyes that Matsuri always had around Mei. 

“....Mei.,” Matsuri managed to say but got cut off.

“And don’t think I’m forgetting about you bestie!” Mei practically tackled Himeko with a big hug. “It’s been too long!”

Himeko opened her mouth to say something but noticed Harumin slowly shaking her head no. In a way telling her “not yet.”

“Hey Mei Mei,” Himeko managed an actual smile and hugged her oldest friend. Despite the situation Mei was in, Himeko couldn’t help but smile. She missed her friend and finally had a chance to be of use to Mei. Not to say she was happy about her health, but just happy to actually see her.

“Yeah, it has been too long.” Himeko squeezed her friend. She couldn’t help but start to get emotional while hugging.

“Hey...Mei,” Harumin cut in after noticing Himeko tear up, “been a long time...huh?” 

Laughter erupted from Mei at the rather lame joke. They had seen each other just yesterday after all. Everyone gave each other nervous glances as none of them were laughing. It truly felt awkward.

“Yup,” Mei wiped a in imaginary tear from her eye, “definitely been too long Harumin.” 

“But.....,” Mei said after calming down from the lame joke, “I’m glad each of you are here. I know it means as much to Yuzu as it does myself. Thank you all.” 

Harumin noticed the pain in Matsuris’ face grow and decided to take her hand. It shocked Matsuri but Harumin gave her a sad smile and nod, telling her it’ll be okay. Truth be told, Haurmin needed the support just as much.

Meanwhile Himeko was biting her tongue to the point she might end up crying from pain.

Another awkward silence fell upon the group as everyone gave their all to remain calm and composed.

“Oh daddy!” Mei got Shous’ attention as the man was trying to not insert himself into the specific conversation.

“Yeah, Mei?” Shou asked, clueless to what was happening.

“Could I speak to you....,” Mei looked around the room, “alone.”

This surprised Shou, for the last few years Mei has been very open about everything. The fact she’d want to speak in private could be important and an essential step in the right direction.

“Yes. Of course,” Shou followed Meis’ lead to the kitchen. It wasn’t necessarily private but if you were quiet and other people were talking than it was hard to hear.

However, everyone else couldn’t help but ease drop on what their talk may be about. Not that there was anything else they wanted to discuss today of all days.

“Okay, Daddy.” Mei straightened her outfit to make sure she was presentable one last time. Shou couldn’t deny she looked beautiful, it made a part of him happy. 

“I....wow okay,” Mei took a few deep breaths and chuckled nervously. “There’s something I need to ask you.”

“What is it, Mei?” Shou asked. He noticed she was blushing but wasn’t sure if it was related or not.

“I....well you see....I know we’re both you daughters but” Mei bowed deeply, “ Mr. Aihara may I marry your daughter??” 

If things were different, Shou would’ve loved this. Mei happily discussing marriage to someone she loves, but it wasn’t different. The one she loves has been gone for 2 years. 2 long and painful years. 

Yeah it’s a little weird, step sisters getting married, but Shou wouldn’t have minded. As long as his girls were happy he would’ve been okay with almost anything they did.

Shou felt himself punishing his pin against his leg as he took his own first step. “No. You can’t.” 

“This is it....,” Shou thought as his heart raced. The idea of having to break someone’s heart is never pleasant. Then alone when that someone is your ill daughter. But...it had to happened.

“Wait what??” Mei got up from her bow with confusion written all over her face. Everyone in the living room had to sit back down and Harumin was doing little less than full on holding Matsuri for support.

They both missed Yuzu. It was hard for Harumin but she had only known Yuzu for little more than a year before she passed. Despite how close they had gotten, she could only imagine how much pain someone like Matsuri was going through. 

Yeah Harumin was Yuzus’ best friend and vise versa. But Matsuri was practically her sister, Yuzu was such a important person in her life. They had a sisterly bond and to Haurmin, their pain wasn’t even comparable.

There was a few moments of silence as Mei thought about why Shou would say no and started to laugh. “Oh daddy don’t worry! We know we can’t legally get married but that’s okay! Definitely not a reason to say no.” She let out a nervous yet concerning laugh.

“That’s not it....,” Shou said below his breath. Fortunately, Mei was standing right next to him and heard.

“Hmmm,” Mei thought for a few moments, “Are you worried about if Yuzu even wants to? Don’t worry about something like that, I know my Yuzu. And I know she’ll lov...,” Mei got cut off.

“This has to stop!” Shous’ already strained voice roared through the apartment.

“Then....,” Mei got tears in her eyes both from sadness and getting yelled at, “then why not?????” 

“What’s going on???” Ume ran into the kitchen, urn in hand. Mei noticed the urn and started blushing.

“N...nothing!” Mei waved her hands in a panic. She feared her prior conversation would come up.

“Mei....wants them to get married....,” Shou informed his wife as he tried to remain clam. With Ume there, he felt stronger. Like there was someone else who need him. Someone who chose to be a part of his life. 

“Daddy!!!” Mei screamed at the man as she blushed ferociously. “Yuzu listen,” she turned to the urn. “I ...well yes. He’s telling the truth. I....wanna be your.....wife, Yuzu.” 

Mei walked to Ume and reached for the urn but Ume turned to the side to keep it from her. “Please stop this.” The older woman spoke.

“What?” Mei finally looked her step mother in the eyes, this made her own go wide. “Mommy?? What’s wrong??”

“Mei....,” Ume let her tears fall, “we all need to talk to you. Please sit down.” She gestured to the living room.

“You do? But what about Yuzu and I getting....,” Mei got cut off.

“Listen to your mother Mei!” Shou snapped at his daughter. He didn’t want to be harsh but he knew this was too important.

“Okay.....,” Mei once again tried to grab the urn as she walked to the living room. Ume turned aside.

“I...wanna hold it,” Ume said trying to sound calm. Honestly, holding it did make her feel calmer. Felt like she was close to her daughter for the first time in a long time. She was happy to feel close but it also hurt, in a way holding it was bittersweet. 

Mei was confused at basically everything that had just happened. Shou saying no to their marriage. The yelling. Then there’s the weird way Ume was keeping her from Yuzu. Something was definitely wrong.

As much as Mei wanted to question everything she figured everything will be answered with this talk. They had Mei sit in the middle of the couch so she could hear and see everyone. 

“What’s this about?” Mei asked as her eyed kept darting towards the urn that Ume was holding.

“Mei...sweetie,” Ume gave her daughter a painfully weak smile, “first. We want you to know we all love and care about you. This is....for you’re own good.” 

Everyone either nodded or verbally agreed with Umes’ statement. Mei however was still confused.

“What’s for my own good mommy? Yuzu do you know what she’s talking about?” Meis focus was entirely on the urn.

“Mei you have to stop this...please stop this. We’re begging you!” Shou pleaded as he felt Ume take his hand. “Mei?” He asked after noticing his daughter wasn’t listening.

The woman’s entire focus was on the urn, as if it was speaking to her. This just felt like a stab in the heart for everyone watching.

“Aunt Ume...please,” Matsuri nodded to one of the rooms. Everyone was well aware they wouldn’t get anywhere if Mei wasn’t paying attention.

Ume nodded and got up to walk to one of their room, urn in hand. Meis’ eyes never leaving the urn as her step mother approached the room. “Yuzu.....,” Mei said sounded horrified.

“Yuzu..., YUZU!” Mei screamed the moment Ume finished sitting the urn down and locking the door.

She then booked it to her step mother, feeling furious. “Why the hell would you do that??!?!?” Mei screamed in the woman’s face.

“You heard her begging to stay out here and then you...y-you do that shit!?!?? What’s wrong with you?!?” Mei turned her attention to the door.

“Yuzu, honey! Don’t worry I’ll get you out!” Mei started to frantically shake the door knob to no avail. 

This was certainly a first to everyone. After Mei reached a breaking point in her grief she was always so cheerful. Sometimes she was sad too but it was usually happy. Rage however, rage was new and no one was sure how it could go.

Ume remained shocked at what had just happened. Never before had either of her daughters yelled at her like that. Not even Yuzu in any of their serious arguments. She was truly speechless at it.

“Not working...okay okay okay okay stay calm,” Mei told herself as she took deep breaths. “Yuzu I’m gonna try to break the door down.” 

Mei then started to kick at the door but it was too sturdy. After 3 kicks Mei got the hint, “shit!! Alright I’ll try something else baby don’t worry!” She then started to claw at the door. This snapped everyone out of their shock as they jumped to action. They all feared her getting physically hurt.

“Mei stop!” Shou grabbed his daughter and pulled her into a tight hug and everyone formed around them. Himeko Made sure Ume was okay and fortunately she was. 

“What’s wrong with you!?!?!” Mei struggled to break out of the hug. “Yuzu! She needs me!! She....,”

“She’s gone Mei,” Matsuri said sounding calm despite her pain. This caught Meis’ attention instantly.

“Yes! Thank you! I can always rely on my little sister,” she smiled at the younger girl, “she is gone. But she’s RIGHT behind this door.”

“All we gotta do is open it and we’ll be with Yuzu. So come on Matsuri give your sister a hand!” Mei pleaded with the pink haired girl who simply shook her head.

“Mei....,” Matsuri squeezed Haurmins’ hand, “does the date of January 23rd mean anything to you?”

Everyone flinched at the mention of that date. Besides its anniversary, it wasn’t mentioned hardly ever.

“We can talk about dates after I’m with my Yuzu!” She continued to try and break out of the hug but Shous’ grip was too strong.

“Answer my question first.” Matsuri said firmly, catching Mei off guard.

“Jesus fine!” Mei snapped, “January 23rd...it was like 2 weeks ago. There? You happy???” It appeared that Mei was losing all patience faster than anyone.

“You really don’t remember at all....,” Matsuri walked up to Shou and Mei as she wrapped her arms around them best she could.

This was it. The moment they tear Mei away from her shattered reality and save her. Despite knowing that, it was still painful for everyone.

“January 23rd 2012 the day.....,” Matsuri choked up and looked to everyone who gave her sad nods. They had all agreed to be honest and say whatever they feel is necessary.

Truth be told, Matsuri has never uttered these words before. Never the date, never what had happened, never. It was too painful to discus the day she lost her big sister. 

“January 23rd, 2012.....the day that.....,” Matsuri didn’t bother trying to stop her tears or hide her emotions, “the day that Yuzu.....committed suicide.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) did ya know how Yuzu had unfortunately passed? Ik it’s a darker fanfic but I am curious if I did a good job hinting at it.  
> 2) gonna be a while for any more, only released this so the story could feel more filled if that makes sense. Not saying it wasn’t done but I was gonna wait a few weeks.  
> 3) I won’t shut up about this but mental illness is not a joke. It’s a serious issues and there is no shame in asking for help if you need it.  
> 4) this story wasn’t entirely just a PSA about mental health. Tbh my other fanfic “Love Advice” is so happy and upbeat and this could be considered the polar opposite if that makes sense.  
> 5) I’m sorry, I know reading this may not be joyful...I wouldn’t blame anyone for not continuing.  
> 6) if you’re feeling saddened by this fanfic and want some happy ones I’d recommend Uncomfortable Truths or Only You. Both are amazing Citrus fanfics  
> 7) sorry for so many notes lol but their anniversary would be before Valentine’s Day but during February so I’d say February 6th  
> 8) Harumin is just genuinely comfortering Matsuri  
> 9) new notes lol so I have some different endings in mind; a good, a bad and a beautiful one...might let people choose which ending they want but idk seems like a weird idea


	3. We’re sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei deals with Matsuris’ comment about Yuzu

Tension filled the air as no one dared to make a sound after what Matsuri had just said. That includes Mei who had instantly stopped resisting her dads’ hug. 

Mei stared into what felt like Matsuris’ soul intently, actually getting to the young girl. Matsuri worried about what may happen next, but this had to continue. There was no turning back now after all.

“Do you actually think that’s funny Mizusawa?” Mei asked, breaking the silence. This was the first time she had just called someone their last name since she changed and it caught everyone off guard. She even sounded strict and serious like when she was the student council president.

“....why...,” Matsuri looked down as she felt her eyes watering more and her lips quivering. “Why would I EVER joke about something like that?”

Everyone except Mei could feel the pain in her voice. Saying what had happened to her big sister was hard enough, but now she may have to repeat and even defend that it happened.

“Why don’t you tell me?!? Why do you think the ridiculous idea of Yuzu committing suic....,” Meis’ hand flew to her mouth as she felt a huge wave of nausea wash over her. Fortunately, Shou was still holding her for support.

“Are you okay sweetie?” Ume asked. Today was gonna be emotional, but that didn’t stop Ume from worrying about her step daughter. 

Everyone had formed a half circle around Mei and Shou, each being there when needed. They all could see the sickened look on Meis’ face.

“I....,” Mei started but had to stop to catch her breath. “I’m fine....Thanks.” She finished her intense breathing. 

Ume looked to Shou who nodded and gave his wife a sad smile. “We know it’s hard to hear Mei....but it’s true.” Shou said while still not loosening his grip around Mei.

“What??” Mei looked horrified at her fathers words. “Why?? Why would anyone go along with that..that THING she called a joke???”

“Mei Mei...,” Himeko started, “it wasn’t a joke....we all wish it was but,” she stopped to wipe her tears.

“Yuzu Aihara is gone...,” she sounded genuinely sad. Despite not being what could be considered best friends with Yuzu, Himeko found herself caring quite a bit for the delinquent.

If it wasn’t for her relationship with Mei than Himeko would have never been fortunately enough to get as close to Yuzu as she did. Despite everything, she was glad she got to know someone like Yuzu before her passing.

The day she found out what had happened to her best friends step sister, Himeko had to leave school for the day. She tried to handle it maturely but she failed every time. 

Himeko still remembered the moment she found out. She instantly dropped to the floor in a emotional panic. The familiar sense of not being able to help her closest friends overwhelmed her.

Not being able to help when they broke up hurt but this was different. This was leagues more painful. Now there was nothing she could do, somehow even less than before. Yuzu was gone, and Mei had lost the love of her life. The previous sense of dread Himeko felt was now overwhelming.

Once it was on the news, the word spread like wildfire at the academy. Everyone was shocked to hear such a bright and cheery girl would ever do what she did but it happened. No one was glad to hear or share the news.

Eventually they held an assembly to discuss the events but that wasn’t until later that day. This gave staff and teachers a chance to confirm everything and consider how to approach it with the students.

The only one of Yuzus’ friends’ who were actually able to attend the assembly was Shirapon. Everyone else had left the school earlier, leaving her alone. 

Suzuran didn’t blame them, she herself was having a hard time handling the day. Not everyday you hear news like this.

The older girl broke the rules her family had hammered in her head. Instead of masking all of her emotions, the green haired girl simple let her tears fall. No hiding, no shame, just emotions. Not like anyone would or even could blame her.

“Why do you guys keep saying that???” Mei fussed in Shous’ arms. “Yes, ‘she’s gone’ but for the love of god! She’s JUST in the other room!” 

“You said that Mrs. Aihara heard.....,” Harumin gulped, “Yuzucchi....screaming a few minutes ago, right?” She asked. Meis’ attention was shot in her direction afterwards.

Harumin couldn’t help but remember the last time she’d ever said that name. She has barely said “Yuzu” during the last two years, making this stand out to her.

“So Yuzucchi. Wanna walk home together? We can stop and go shopping, I even got some coupons.” Haurmin remembered offering in order to cheer up her friend.

“No.” Yuzu has said in her now usual masked tone. She always was trying to hide her pain nowadays.

“I’m good, Haurmin. Thanks. See you tomorrow.” 

That conversation was held on January 20th, 2012. And was the last between the two.

Harumin always regretted not trying harder to cheer up Yuzu. She had no clue things were this bad. Had she known, Haurmin would’ve worked harder to make Yuzu happy, no matter what it took.

In some ways, Harumin blamed herself for what had happened. To her, she could’ve done more to cheer Yuzu up or even help her move on.

Despite that, the fact the last thing she had said to her former best friend trying to make her feel better made Harumin feel a little better. 

“No shit!” Mei could feel her rage growing again. Not like she needed to be reminded of the horrors her step mother just committed.

“She didn’t....none of us did,” Harumin said still standing her ground to the former student council President. She was firm and certain sounding, making even Matsuri surprised.

Since Harumin partially blamed herself for Yuzus’ death, this was her attempt at making it up to Yuzu. She couldn’t save Yuzu but she’ll save who Yuzu loved.

“How the hell could you not have?!?!” Mei asked, sending some shivers down Harumins’ spine.

“She was screaming and begging to stay with me!!” Mei yelled at her former classmate. 

“She wasn’t....Because.....,” Ume started, getting Meis’ anger aimed towards her in a beast like manner. “My baby....is......”

“This is for Yuzu....and you too Mei,” Ume thought to herself, still not being intimidated by Meis’ anger.

“My baby is gone, Mei.....But that’s okay. We’re all still here for you.” Ume offered her step daughter a warming smile. 

Shou managed his own real smile after Ume said that. For the first time in what felt like forever, Ume had mentioned her oldest and smiled. This was a huge step she took and Shou couldn’t be prouder of the woman he loves.

Ume even nodded for Shou to let her go as her focus seemed to be now on them rather than the urn. He obliged his wife’s’ request.

Mei than look around the room and the reactions everyone was giving. They were offering sad but sincere smiles and nodding to show their support. It was then that Mei realized what was actually happened.

“I know what this is about,” Mei said sounding flat and cold at the same time, catching everyone off guard.

“And honestly....doing this on our anniversary of all days.....,” Meis’ fists were clenched hard as she tried to control her anger.

“You can all go to hell!” She screamed at her friends and family. 

No one was ready for Mei to say something like that. Just hearing it and knowing it was towards her too made Himeko feel like a part of her had died. They all knew Mei meant to hurt them but they wouldn’t let it show how it effected them.

“....why?” Shou asked, earning him Meis’ gaze. He wasn’t as fazed by Mei saying that, to be honest he had worried about worse before he had came back. This made it easier to take her words and strive.

“‘Why?’” Mei said in a mocking tone. “Even someone who was dumb enough to abandon their own daughter should be smart enough to know.” 

“Well I don’t.” Shou said flatly. Truth be told, that part got to him slightly. But today was for Mei, so he continued without backing down.

“Alright. Fine,” Mei let out and annoyed sigh. “I’ll tell you SHOU.” She looked around the room to make sure everyone was paying close attention.

“I’ll make this FUCKING clear. You can all GO TO HELL because you all hate Yuzu!!As far as I’m concerned.....,”

“How could you say that!?!??” Ume cut her step daughter off, catching her off guard entirely.

“Hate Yuzu!?! Mei I loved Yuzu. She was my daughter, my baby! My my.....,” Ume finally dropped to the floor and begun crying.

Everyone expect Mei watched in horror at the scene. 

“DAMIT!! Why....why couldn’t I save my baby??!” She let out 2 years worth of pain and suffering in front of everyone as she relentlessly punched the floor.

“I JUST WANT THIS TO END!” Ume screamed out of so many emotions. Shame she had broke and wasn’t being strong for Mei. Grief of the loss of her daughter. Guilt for not saving anyone. And finally, anger out of being a failure of a mother.

In this moment, the only word Ume could use to describe herself would be failure. After all, she can’t seem to save any of her daughters.

While everyone watched it horror and tried to comfort Ume, Mei remained unfazed by her step mothers reaction. As far as she cared, anyone who hated Yuzu wasn’t worth her time. 

“How could you say that?!?” Matsuri started to feel her own anger rising. “We loved Yuzu....all of us!” Matsuri said while taking Harumins’ hand in a attempt to calm her. The older woman allowing it, especially today.

Mei crossed her arms and remained unfazed. “Bullshit.” She said sounding even colder than before. 

Right now, this Mei was something different. The happy and cheerful Mei everyone had unfortunately gotten use to was gone, leaving only hatred towards everyone who’s keeping her away from her beloved. If they hate Yuzu than they’re truly less than nothing to her. In a weird way, she was finally choosing love over anything else.

“How....how could you ever get the idea that we hate....Yuzucchi in your head?” Harumin asked while Himeko and Shou were tending to Ume.

“Hard to believe someone this stupid could be related to Mitsuko senpai,” Mei snapped, making Harumin feel personally attacked and a little enraged.

“It’s genuinely not that hard to see. I’ve had suspicions for a while but today...OH BOY did it confirm every little thing. You ALL HATE MY YU...,”

“We don’t hate Yuzu damit!” Matsuri snapped at the older woman with tears in her eyes. “She was my sister....I lov,”

Mei got up in Matsuris’ face as she cut her off. “You are so full of shit!” She screamed.

“Your sister?!?!? What kind of bitch ignores their sister?!?” Mei screamed in the younger girls face, making her close her eyes.

“ If you truly gave a dam about that my beloved you wouldn’t have been ignoring her ever since......,”

Despite trying to comfort his wife, Shou was listening in on the conversation and was surprised things had gone silent. After almost a minute of this uncomfortable silence, he turned to face his daughter and watched the scene play out.

Mei was standing in front of Matsuri while looking angry yet confused. It was like all of her thoughts were trying to process and pin point the details of what she just said.

This didn’t go unnoticed by Matsuri who instantly smiled at the crack within Meis’ shield. In the moment, she was angry and a part of her wanted to hurt Mei. But, she swore she would only say something hurtful if it was helpful.

“Since WHEN?” Matsuri crossed her arms and stared down the taller woman. It was clear Mei was uncertain of her statement.

Mei backed down with slight anxiety, “nothing. Forget it. I’m getting Yuzu and we are leaving.” She then turned to the door separating her and her love.

She was stopped by Matsuri grabbing her arm. “Answer the question and we’ll unlock the door.”

“Matsuri!” Ume started but saw the serious look in the girls eyes. They had agreed to not unlock the door until Mei was better. But the fact Matsuri was willing to do it early told Ume she had a plan and was confident.

“....please don’t let us down....this is our only chance,” Ume thought as she relented and nodded to let Matsuri continue.

“How about you unlock the door and we’ll never have to communicate again?” Mei snapped at the pink haired girl.

“No. Answer the question.” Matsuri retorted. Everyone was watching them with intense stares. Matsuri isn’t exactly comforting and with how Mei is, it could very well it physical.

Meis’ fist were clenched and only getting tighter. Not only that but she was gritting her teeth and breathing heavily, everyone could tell she was getting more enraged.

“You aren’t answering because you can’t. You can’t remember something that never happened, can you?” Matsuri finally put her plan into action.

“I......,” Mei stopped to run her hand in her hair as she tried to think. Her eyes wide as she tried to recall when everyone had started to ignore Yuzu or why. “I can!...I just.....,”

“Then say it. It’s the only way that door is opening.” Matsuri cut off the older woman.

To anyone else it would appear Matsuri was trying to be mean to Mei, fortunately enough people here knew better. Harumin and Ume both knew she was only doing what she truly believed was for the best.

“Just let me think damit!” Mei said with a panic. She had begun scratching the top of her head as she thought ferociously to be reunited with the one she loves.The only thing she could do to get Yuzu and leave is to answer a simple yet impossible question. This only frustrated Mei more. Didn’t help that she couldn’t actually come up with anything.

“She was my sister,” Matsuri said with a few sad tears streaming down her face as she hugged Mei from the back. “I loved my sister Mei. After all I did she could’ve hated me but she didn’t. What could possibly happen to make me hate someone like her?”

Mei knew to the core they hated Yuzu but she couldn’t deny that. To her, everyone loved Yuzu and would smile when she was even just brought into conversation. Then out of no where they just started ignoring her, it didn’t make any sort of sense.

Those were the only 2 types of memories Mei had of the blonde. One where everyone was happy when she was around. And one where suddenly Yuzu was basically invisible. Something wasn’t adding up.

“She was my daughter,” Ume said, grasping Mei despite her daze of confusion. “I loved her with all my heart, just as much as I love you. I could never hate her.”

Now that Mei wasn’t as angry but more so confused she noticed the pained look in her step mothers’ eyes. Ume meant every word she was saying and Mei knew it. Looking around, she noticed the pained look in everyone’s faces, only adding to her confusion.

No one hated Yuzu, yet they were all ignoring her. They would only ignore if they hated but that didn’t seem to be the case.

“I.....wanna go home,” Mei finally spoke. “Please mommy....I just wanna go home and be with my Yuzu...please,” she pleaded. Mei was too confused about everything right now. Everything was becoming too hard for her to register and put together coherently.

She hadn’t even noticed Shou had momentarily disappeared. 

“Matsuri, let go.” Ume approached Mei with a sad smile. The tears falling out of Meis’ eyes could be a sign they were finally making a breakthrough. 

Matsuri obliged as she wiped her own eyes free of tears. 

“Can I go mommy?!?! Please???” Mei begged as Ume pulled her into a tight hug. 

“Soon Mei...I promise sweetie,” Ume said as she prayed they were making progress.

“No. No no no I can’t! Please mommy!” Mei begged as she broke out of the hug. “I wanna leave! But I can’t leave Yuzu so please unlock the door and then we’ll all ignore today and pretend it didn’t happen. Come tomorrow we’ll have a clean slate. Okay??? Please?” 

“We...we aren’t done yet honey.” Ume surprisingly stood her ground.

“I...I’ll be a good girl please mommy! I’m sorry!” Mei had dropped to the ground as started crying more. She wanted to just leave and while she could manage that just fine, she won’t leave Yuzu.

“I’ll be good mommy! Please let me have my Yuzu! I need her!” Mei begged as a part of everyone died. They never expect Mei to deteriorate to anything like this, a sobbing and pleading mess. Much like a child right now.

“Never....leave....zu....again...,” Mei said between her sobs. 

“Never....ave....yu...aga....,” 

“Ev....lea....Yuz....ain...,”

No one enjoyed watching this play out but there was no backing down now. Himeko broke down at the sight of her best friend crying like this, first time she had ever seen anything this saddening.

Matsuri had whispered to Ume what she gathered to be what Mei was partially saying repeatedly. Ume nodded and knelt down to speak to her daughter.

“Sweetie please look at me....,” Ume started. This was killing Ume but she felt like they were close to breaking through, only motivating the mother.

“Never.....again.....,” 

“Yuzu....again...,”

“Never...Yuzu.... leave...,” 

Mei continued throughout her sobs, only repeating odd variations of the same sentence.

“Look at me, please,” Ume begged to no avail. Mei was a sobbing mess, only wanting her Yuzu.

“Is this it?” Shou asked at he returned from his daughters’ old room with a particular notebook in hand. Ume nodded to him. 

This was the closest to a trump card they possessed. Ume and Shou had agreed it wasn’t to be used lightly. Because there was the lingering fear of what it could erupt from Mei, no one could predict how this would turn out.

“The fall in love with Mei and live happily ever after plan” Shou said loud enough to catch Meis’ attention and it did. She could never forget that notebook Yuzu had planned their first date in.

“Do you recognize this?” Shou asked his daughter as he held the book up.

“Yuzu.....,” Mei reached the for book despite not only being on the floor but also a over 5 feet away from Shou.

“Here...go ahead and look through it,” Shou gave his daughter a weak smile as they used what they considered to be their trump card.

He handed her the book as he knelt down by his wife and took her hand. The strain of the day visibly showing on both of them.

“Yuzu....,” Mei repeated as she looked through the notebook with joy. A minute ago she was crying out of fear and sadness but now it was pure joy. Joy at the memories of their first date and how Yuzu even made a whole notebook for her plan to fall in love more.

“Hold each other while watching the sunset” Mei read as she remembered when she started it backwards during their first date. This even made her chuckle a little.

“Go to the arcade..,” Mei smiled at the thought of Yuzu winning her the patchwork bear she now treasures.

“Lunch at a cafe...have the same meal as Mei” they did have the same meal but Mei had gotten the same as Yuzu, Mei was in awe of the memories.

“Hold hands on the way to the movies” Mei couldn’t forget the adorable look on Yuzus’ face when she took her hand during the movie.

She was lost in her own world as she relived the memories of their first date. Even remembering how cute Yuzu was when she finally asked her on one. Back then, everything seemed so simple.

Not long after Mei started reading, everyone was sitting around her. They were ready for Mei to reach the end.

“So many beautiful....what’s this?” Mei thought as she reached a page that stood out. Instead of being full of date ideas it was just a paragraph. Not only that but this was clearly Meis’ hand writing, but she never wrote anything in there.

“Hey Yuzu......,” Mei started reading. Everyone around her had noticed how far she was and prepared for the worst.

Those 30 seconds it took Mei to read the page she wrote felt like an eternity for everyone watching. They all knew what it said and knew this was gonna make things worse for Mei.

Mei let out an ear shattering shriek as she tossed the book away from her. “What.....the......hell???” Mei said as she begun hyperventilating. Her breaths were now short and panicked and her eyes were now wide in horror.

Everyone tensed up at the sudden out burst, knowing this was gonna hurt not just Mei.

“I didn’t.....AGGHHHHH,” Mei screamed as she covered her face with her hands. She wanted to deny the note but that was her hand writing. Not only that but she could now remember a vague memory of her writing it.

Mei had a vague memory of sitting down and writing this. Not only could she somewhat remember but she also felt the pain. The same pain that was within her heart while writing it.

She did it. She broke up with Yuzu. But they have been dating for 3 years. Nothing was adding up.

“I...I don’t....I did....Yuzu....why....,” Mei thought as she tried to make sense of everything.

Thousands of thoughts were running through her mind as she pieced the puzzle together to no avail. She broke up with Yuzu. But she has been dating Yuzu for 3 years. Everyone hates her. But everyone also loves her. Nothing was making any sense.

“I wouldn’t leave Yuzu! I....left Yu....

“Love Yuzu....,”

“Left Yuzu....,”

“Love Yuzu....,”

“Killed Yuzu....,”

“It’s all your fault! Don’t you ever forget that!” Mei heard in her memories.

“All my fault.....,”

“I killed her!”

“All your fault! Don’t you ever forget that!”

“Love Yuzu”

“Left Yuzu”

“Killed Yuzu”

“Love”

“Killed”

“Left”

“Killed”

“Killed”

“Killed”

“I don’t know!! Leave me alone!!” Mei screamed so loud she could feel her throat sting.

“It’s okay sweetie.....,” Ume dared to speak. The tension was so heavy it was hard for anyone to speak and not break down.

“Yuzu”

“Yuzu”

“Yuzu”

“Yuzu”

“Yuzu”

“Yuzu”

Was all Mei was capable of saying.

“Mei...it’s okay,” Shou placed his hand on Meis’ shoulder hoping to catch her attention. “Everything is gonna be okay.”

“Yuzu” 

“Yuzu”

“Yuzu”

“Yuzu”

Mei continued to repeat. Her eyes still wide in horror as she was trying to piece together everything.

“I’m sorry Mei,” Matsuri spoke up as she became teary eyed again. “I’m so sorry!”

This didn’t catch Meis’ attention but everyone except Ume was confused about what Matsuri was getting at. After all, no one else was there at that time.

“It’s not your fault Mei. Do you hear me???? It’s not your fault so please don’t blame yourself!” Matsuri begged.

“Please!” She begged again. Not long after Mei had changed, Matsuri finally felt guilt for what she had say the day Yuzu passed.

The pink haired girl couldn’t handle feeling like she contributed to the break in Meis’ mental state. Couldn’t handle it but has been carrying the weight of responsibility for years.

“My.......fault?” Mei weakly said as she finally turned to Matsuri. 

“It’s your fault! Don’t you ever forget that!” Mei recalled hearing from Matsuri 2 years prior.

“My faul.....,”

“It’s not!” Matsuri cut off Mei sounding harsher than intended.

“She’s right,” Ume spoke up, caught Meis’ attention. “It’s no one’s fault.”

Everyone nodded in agreement at the statement. Even deep down none of them blamed Mei for what happened. 

“What” Mei asked sounding weak. If everyone wasn’t paying as much attention as they were then she would’ve gone unheard.

“It’s your fault! Don’t you ever forget that!” 

Thousands of thoughts were racing in Meis’ mind right now. As much as she tried she couldn’t make sense of anything. Mei never left Yuzu. Yuzu and her are dating. Everyone hates her.

Combined with thoughts of: Mei broke up with Yuzu. Mei was at fault for killing her. Everyone loved her. Nothing was making any comprehensible sense.

All Mei knew was she needed answers, if this continued she’d truly go insane. Too many thoughts colliding with memories that both did and didn’t actually happen.

“What.....happened? Where’s my Yuzu???” Mei asked the room, hoping to be told she was just being silly or was potentially dreaming.

“Sweetie....,” Ume cupped Meis’ cheeks. “I’m gonna tell you about.....that day....but,” she offered a sad smile.

“I need you to trust me that this is all true. And everything is as I say. Can you please.....please do that for mommy?” She pleaded with her daughter.

“I can save her....,” Ume let a few tears stray down her face as she felt hope for the first time in years.

“Where’s my Yuzu?” Mei asked as she held Umes’ hands that were on her face. The desperation in Meis’ eyes were heart shattering for everyone who witnessed.

“On.....on January 23rd.....,” Ume started as Meis’ shattered reality was beginning to be put back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) mental illness is no joke, if you ever feel like you need help there is no shame is seeking it. Your mental and physical health are important to you and everyone who cares about you.  
> 2) not as impactful as the other 2 chapters but I hope it was as emotional.  
> 3) never written a mental breakdown, especially one as instant and unstable as Meis’ so I hope it was well made.  
> 4) got different endings in mind but still gotta decide....  
> 5) if this story as a whole is too depressing for you than I understand and tbh it may possibly only get worse.  
> 6)sorry if this chapter is confusing, kinda hard to write a mental breakdown.  
> 7) art from KitsuneOtaku03 on reddit. please check them out they have some incredible art and a lot of great Citrus art


	4. Forever Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei hears the truth

It was a typical morning for Mei, the now familiar pain in her chest as she longed to be with the one she loves was forever present. The one she loves yet broke.

Mei woke up alone, had breakfast alone, went to school alone, came home alone and cried alone. That was her average everyday life now.

Today was different however. When she made her way downstairs for breakfast, she found her grandfather sitting at the table. Granted they sometimes had meals together so this wasn’t entirely odd but the look on his face told Mei something was off.

“Good morning, grandfather....,” Mei started. She was waiting to determine if it would be appropriate to ask about what’s going on.

She must’ve startled the man because this made him jump ever so slightly. “Oh....Mei.....,” the man looked like he had seen a ghost.

Mei wanted to ask but she knew sometimes intense things happen regarding the academy. As the student council president Mei would surely hear about almost anything anyway.

“....please take a seat....,” the man nodded towards the chair sitting across from him.

The girl obeyed and took her place on the chair, feeling anxious. Yeah things happen with the academy but he sounds deadly serious, almost frightening.

“I....just received a call.....from Shou,” the man scratched the back of his neck as he searched for the strength to tell his granddaughter.

He wasn’t in anyway shape or form close to Yuzu but he felt a sense of familiarity with her. She was his son’s step daughter, the daughter of his daughter in law and his granddaughter’s step sister, all that is worth plenty to dread the news.

That and the fact she once saved his life added to it. She saved his ,yet with all the Aihara money and power he couldn’t save her, a truly painful feeling. 

The elder Aihara also feared Meis’ reaction to the news. As the granddaughter he has known for her whole life, he cared deeply for Mei. Even if he had a funny way of never showing it.

“Mei is mature......she can handle it....,” the man kept telling himself as Mei waited patiently for him to speak.

“I won’t lie to you Mei.....,” the man himself was starting to choke up. He didn’t want to hurt his granddaughter but she deserved to know. 

“I’m gonna be very blunt and honest,” the man coughed to cover up his wavering composure. Mei simply nodded and stared patiently.

“I’m sorry....not only that this happened but also as the one who’s telling you.” The elder Aihara started, only raising Meis’ curiosity and worry. 

“Your sist....Yuzuko....,” he continued as Meis’ eyes went wide and her life changed forever.

“Fell from her balcony and was found dead earlier....I’m so sorry Mei.” The man said as a few tears fell from his eyes.

Mei felt both physically and emotionally numb as she booked her way to the hospital. She knew which one to go to since Ume had once discussed which one to go to in case of emergency.

She couldn’t believe what she heard moments before. Mei wasted no time leaving the house, even ending up loosing a shoe from not tightening it properly.

“She can’t......,” Mei thought as she begun mentally fighting herself. She wanted to react and cry but felt like she hadn’t a right. 

If she had stayed at home with Yuzu than she could’ve saved her. Her Yuzu could be alive.....but she’s not her Yuzu. Not anymore.

Mei Left, she knew this, she left and let Yuzu die. The one she loves would be breathing right now if Mei wasn’t such a selfish bitch. She knew this and also knew she had no right to be sad.

She wants to be sad, she wants to curl in a ball and disappear. But she had no right. Yuzu was gone because of her. What right does she have to be sad?

“........it’s my fault......,”

“No right to be upset...it was my fault.”

“I’m sorry,”

“Please please please....,”

After a physically and mentally exhausting 10 minute run, Mei had arrived at Sanno Hospital. When she approached the receptionist she found herself almost unable to speak.

Between catching her breath and fighting her desire to react, Mei just stood there looking dumbfounded.

“Aihara right?” The Receptionist finally asked after a quick phone call. Mei weakly nodded as the womans’ demeanor became a lot more sympathetic.

“Come with me, I’ll escort you.” The older woman lead Mei through a few doors as they become walking. While walking she explained to Mei that the hospital contacted Shou and he clarified that a few young women with may come in and see Ume. One of which fit Meis’ description perfectly.

“He also asked us to make sure Mrs. Aihara knew he would be coming home as soon as possible.” The woman continued.

Mei, of course, didn’t hear any of it. Her thoughts were either fighting herself or praying this was all some twisted joke. 

Despite all of the woman’s kindness, Mei simply remained silent. No voice along with her hollowed eyes.

“It’s my fault.....,”

“Please....god.....,”

“I don’t deserve to cry.....,”

“I...I’m sorry.....,”

“My fault......,”

“Please......,”

“Forgive.....,”

“Yuzu.......love,”

“I deserve this......,”

“My fault.....,”

“Mrs. Aihara is in here,” the woman said in as her tone continued to sadden. She had lead Mei to the room where Ume was suffering in. “She.....,” she had to wipe away a few tears.

“She’s going through a lot. Please be careful about what you say.” The woman took a deep breath while waiting for Mei to say something.

No reply 

The hospital employee could already see the hollow and pained look in Meis’ eyes and decided she probably already knew to watch what was said. If anything was gonna be said that is.

Knock knock “Mrs. Aihara, you have company.” She said as she opened the door. The room was a standard hospital room, albeit smaller than some. It had a chair for a patient to sit in, a sink and other medical supplies, and a few chairs for visitors to use.

Ume wasn’t forced to stay in the room however, she simply couldn’t handle doing anything and the hospital allowed her to use the room for some time. They even had someone stay in there and try to consolidate her but they left to get Ume something to eat. It was a flawed but nice attempt to cheer to her up.

When the door opened, all Mei heard was a haunting sound that tore her heart. The only woman to ever truly raise her and love her like a mother, was now nothing more than a crying and screaming mess.

Mei wanted the sound to end, she’d give anything for this suffering to disappear, however it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“Mrs. Aihara,” she continued as she fully opened the door. Ume was curled up on the ground, keeping her knees together and her arms around them. Her hair was aimed in all sorts of directions. To add to the horror, she couldn’t stop rocking back and forward. It was like her life depended on it.

Of course Ume didn’t hear the woman through her screams on pain. Instead all the mother heard was the sound of her sobs as she blamed herself for Yuzus’ death.

“My....NOOOO!” Ume screamed angrily at no one between her sobs. The hospital employee worried she could potentially pass out from lack of oxygen if she kept this up.

“I failed Yuzu....I failed my daughter....I failed my.......,” She thought before letting out another heart shattering scream.

“YUZUUU!” She screamed again. All she wanted, no, all she needed was her baby. The one she raised almost single handily. The one who’s kindness knows no bounds.  
The one who’s gone.......

The hospital employee who lead Mei watched in horror at the scene as she hoped Mei was gonna speak. She hoped, but was met with disappointment. All she got from Mei was silence.

“Mrs. Aihara,” she walked over and placed a hand on Umes’ shoulder, “you have a guest.”

“Huh?” Umes’ head shot up as she scanned the room. Seeing her only real mother with so much pain on her face was a sight that made Mei wanna cry.

It took a few moments for the broken mothers’ eyes to clear up but when they did, she wasted no time hugging Mei.

“....h.....,” Ume started through her pain. “Hi Mei......,” she felt truly pathetic right now. Ume lost a daughter, and didn’t think she could be strong for the other one. A true a failure....

It didn’t help that when Yuzus’ birth father had passed, Ume hadn’t handled it well. In fact she was handling this a lot worse now than before. Nothing has changed.

She was constantly crying even though she’s supposed to be there for her girls.....her girl. Much like with Yuzu when she lost her father. Ume was unable to help out due to her own pain.

A terrible mother in Umes’ eyes......

Even though Ume was clinging to Mei in a tight embrace, she never felt Mei hug her back. Weirder than that, Mei wasn’t even reacting. No words, no sobs, nothing.

Instead Mei was beginning her mental decline, her slow fall into a total breakdown. All of her thoughts were relentlessly tormenting her without end. She wanted to react. She wanted to cry. She wanted to die.

But she couldn’t. She had no right to cry or even react in any matter. This was because of her and she knew it. 

All Mei could do was follow Umes’ lead and sit on some chairs next to each other. There was an painful silence after the nurse left them in the room. Not much to really say after all.

Ume could barely manage anything out side of pained sobs and Mei didn’t feel like she deserved to say anything right now. What could she say? “Sorry I killed your actual daughter”?

“Shut up!!!!!!” Mei internally screamed against the ocean of painful thoughts drowning her soul.

“It’s my fault....,”

“I killed her!”

“I’m sorry....,”

“I can cry...,”

“I don’t deserve to cry....,”

“I need to cry!”

“I have no right to cry.”

“I did this...,”

“Please don’t cry mommy.......,”

“I’m sorry.....,”

“I killed her”

“I deserve this.....,”

“Yuzu is dead....,”

“My fault.....”

“Please stop.......”

“Save me.....yu....,”

“She’s gone.....”

“My fault.....,”

“Please save.....”

“I wanna die....,”

“Yuzu.....,”

Those thoughts and more were seemingly on an permanent loop in Meis’ mind as she felt herself die inside. 

The sound of Umes’ screams were nothing more than adding oil to the fire, fueling the pain within Mei. 

There she is, the only mother who loves her, crying. Why? Because of her. Because Mei made this happen. At least according to Mei.

Neither of the girls knew how much time had passed, honestly they’d believe it had been an eternity since the nurse left. Felt like nothing was happening outside of the room they were in, even in the giant world.

“Mrs. Aihara you have another visitor...,” the same nurse from earlier had opened the door enough to say so Ume could hear. 

She still didn’t hear the woman between her sobs. The same painful sobs that have gone nonstop all morning.

Mei on the other hand felt too pained to acknowledge it. Too pained and too numb at the same time.

That is until she felt something hit her on the cheek with enough force that made Mei fall out of her chair. 

“YOU BITCH!!!!!” Someone screamed with murderous intent, even catching Umes’ attention through her cries of pain.

The nurse gasped and instantly begun calling for security to deescalate the situation, all while Ume watched in horror at the scene playing out.

Even though Mei was just punched and was now on the ground, she still couldn’t find it in herself to react. Everything felt deserved to her.

Mei didn’t even do anything when she felt someone move onto her stomach. She still didn’t react when the assailant wrapped her hands around her neck.

When Mei did look up, she noticed Matsuris’ blue eyes filled with nothing but rage. She still refused to do anything.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!” Matsuri screamed while she begun to dig her nails into Meis’ neck, not caring about anything but revenge. 

Her sister was dead, and it was thanks to her. Thanks to this bitch who’s still alive.

The little amounts of blood coming out weren’t enough to satisfy her drive for revenge.

“ITS YOUR FAULT! DONT YOU EVER FORGET THAT!!” Matsuri continued to scream in Meis’ face while trying to dig her nails deeper.

Ume couldn’t help but scream and beg for Matsuri to stop, no one needed this right now. Fortunately for her sake, security was on their way to help.

“ITS YOUR FAULT DONT YOU EVER FORGET THAT!” Matsuri screamed again, determined to make sure Mei knew it.

That was it. It was Meis’ fault. She wasn’t crazy, she wasn’t just telling herself she was to blame. This was because of her. Even Matsuri knew it. 

Yuzu was dead and it was all thanks to Mei. That fact was now confirmed and carved deep into Meis’ mind. 

“......I know.” Mei said.

~the present~

“And that’s...well that’s what happened,” Ume said giving a painfully weak smile.

That was it. Mei remembered it as clear as day. Talking to her grandfather, running to the hospital, being tackled by Matsuri, everything. 

The love of her life is dead. She’s been dead for 2 years. It’s the same woman who Mei thought she’d be celebrating their 3rd anniversary with today. 

....and it’s all Meis’ fault.

“No..no....no....no no no no no no no,” Mei screamed as she painfully scratched the top of her head.

Her breaths had become so rigid everyone feared she may pass out. Didn’t help she wasn’t stopping to actually breath.

This is how Mei should’ve reacted 2 years ago. Instead of telling herself she doesn’t deserve to do anything. Right now, this is the result of 2 years of repression of the greatest pain Mei has ever felt. 

“NOOOOOOOO!” Mei screamed at the top of her lungs while tears fell relentlessly from her eyes. Everyone wanted to hug her and steal the pain she felt. But, at least for the initial shock, they waited.

“No! no! no! no! no! no! no! no!” Mei continues as her heart beat felt like it somehow got faster. She had begun punching the floor, much like her step mother was only minutes ago. Her hands already had bruises forming.

“Mei, it’s okay....we’re all here for you,” Shou offered in a pointless endeavor while Mei couldn’t focus on anything besides her new reality.

Everyone watched with such painfully indifferent feelings. On 1 hand, Mei was seemingly back in reality, their mission being successful. On the other, she might more miserable than before. 

Those thoughts did occur to everyone, that Mei might be better off at least being happy. But after things drug on they knew it had to end. Thankfully, it must’ve.

“Mei Mei....please calm down.....,” Himeko said with tears falling from her face. Seeing her best friend like this was something Himeko would never forget.

“I’m sorry Mei.....,” Matsuri said pointlessly. 2 years ago, Matsuri would’ve loved this. Now? The only comparable pain was the loss of Yuzu. It truly hurt to see Mei like this, even after everything.

After all, this was partly thanks to Matsuri....

“I killed Yuzu”

“I killed Yuzu”

“I killed Yuzu”

“I killed Yuzu”

“I killed Yuzu”

“I killed Yuzu”

“I killed Yuzu”

“ I KNOOOW!!!!!” Mei screamed before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) shorter chapter but intentional to help set up the finale.  
> 2) I have a lot of ideas for the last chapter (next one) so I’m gonna do one of 3 things. 1) just choose/post one. 2) post as many endings as I want (1-4 potentially) and let people choose which they prefer. 3) have 1 canon ending but still post the others because why not.  
> 3) mental illness is a serious issue, if you or anyone you know is having issues than don’t be afraid to try and give or seek help.   
> 4) no chapter of other fanfic this month...  
> 5)I got a few other ideas for fanfic side projects that I may start doing after this is over but still work on the ongoing one more.


	5. Never ending love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically this chapter and the next 3 are each different endings. You can choose whichever of the 4 you prefer. Enjoy!

It was a simple morning, one that Mei was more than accustomed to. Nice, quite, and with the love of her life. Truly a perfect setting.

“Morning?” Mei asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. A quick yawn escaped her lips while she was waking up. 

“Yup,” Mei smiled when she saw sunlight glare through the window. “It’s morning. Which meeeans.” Her smile grew as she looked at the empty part of her single bed.

“It’s Yuzu time!” She squealed in joy.

“Oh wait!” Her hands flew to her face to cover her mouth. “My sweet is still sleeping! I don’t wanna wake her.ughhh....I need to stop talking!”

The Aihara woman then looked over the empty portion of the bed as her heart begun to race. “She always look perfect but this...this something else.” She thought to herself.

Mei couldn’t help but admire Yuzus’ sleeping face. In reality she was staring at her white sheets but to her, it was a sight like none other. The calming feeling of Yuzus’ face, the cute way her mouth was slightly agape letting an occasional snore out. She even loved how Yuzus’ hair looked while like this, so natural and beautiful.

“She’d probably think I’m crazy if she caught me watching her sleep like this,” Mei thought to herself with a giggle. “I’m sure she’d understand though.”

Whether it was hours or minutes, it made no difference to Mei. She simply laid there, staring at nothing, seeing the slumbering face of perfection personified.

“Oh I can’t help it!” Mei thought before leaning down and puckering her lips.

No response 

“Hey baby, sorry,” Mei chuckled, “I just couldn’t wait to spend time with you..forgive me?”

No response 

“Well...how about we spend the day by spending as much time as we can with you in my arms? Would that work honey?”

No response 

“Yay!” Mei squealed with excitement, “I knew you’d love it!” The lonely girl then adjusted herself in order to, what she believes, hold Yuzu in her arms.

The reality was far different than what she believed...

No response 

“Oh right!” Mei lightly facepalmed herself “How’d you sleep my love?” She then asked no one.

No response 

“R..really?” Mei blushed ferociously, “well..I...umm...,” she then let out some fake coughs.

“Alright...I’ll wake you up like that from now on. But you gotta do the same if you wake before me.” Mei retorted.

No response 

“I can’t wait til tomorrow,” Mei smiled as her eyes sparkled at the idea of being woken up by a kiss from her love.

No response

“Nope!,” Mei answered, “I’m all yours.”

No response 

“I...I guess you are all mine,” Mei felt her ear tips burn at the flirting.

No response 

“F..forever?” Meis’ whole face was burning at this point. Whenever Yuzu said anything like this was Meis’ weakness.

No response 

“No! No no no!” Mei started in a cute panic, “I want that! You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours forever.”

No response 

“Geez,” Mei giggled along with no one. “You really had me going for a second.”

No response 

“It’s fine,” Mei smiled adoringly, “I love when you’re...well.,” Mei stopped to think for a minute.

“You. I love it when you’re you, my love.” Mei finished her sentence.

No response 

“How are you THIS adorable???” Mei felt her cheeks hurt from smiling so widely. 

No response 

“Oh Yuzu I...,”

Knock knock knock 

“Oh,” Mei sighed, “hang on my dear. I’ll handle this and we’ll continue cuddling.”

“Good morning Aihara,” one of 2 women spoke as they entered Meis’ room. Both of which were wearing matching white outfits.

“Good morning,” Mei said as she sat up, still making sure Yuzu would’ve been comfortable.

“How are you feeling?” The same woman asked. Mei recognized the women, one was named Atsuko and the other was called Yuni. Both of which were nurses.

“Oh silly! I’m always great when I’m with my love! how’s your family?” Mei asked Yuni, sounding sincere.

“They’re fine, thanks.” Yuni answered, not dignifying Meis’ comment about her love but still sounding warm.

“Here,” Atsuko, the other nurse, said while handing Mei 2 small cups. Without arguing, Mei took each cup and swallowed what’s inside, once cup with 2 pills and one with water.

“Open,” Atsuko demanded. Mei once again did what she had to and obeyed by opening her mouth.

After making sure her mouth was empty, Atsuko nodded wrote something down on her clipboard and nodded.

“Breakfast will be in 15 minutes Aihara,” Yuni said with a much more softer tone than the other woman.

“Alright, thank you.” Mei gave the woman a smile before the door closed between them.

“What a fucking nut job,” Atsuko said after rolling her eyes in disgust while the women walked down the hall.

“You stop that!” Yuni demanded, “it’s a very insensitive thing to say. Both to her or everyone else in this hospital!”

“She’s crazy! She thinks she’s banging her dead step sister!” Atsuko retorted sounding disgusted.

“Our job isn’t to laugh or judge. It’s to take care of all the patients, regardless of what’s wrong with them.” Yuni started.

“She and everyone else in this psychiatric hospital needs care and help, not to be called crazy. Say anything like that again and you’ll be sent home.” Yuni continued, actually sounding saddened by their reality.

“Yeah fine....she’s still nuts though,” Atsuko said that last part under her breath.

Back in Meis’ white colored room...

“Back to Yuzu time!” Mei beamed while snuggling up to no one.

No response 

“Hm? Why would I mind?” She asked.

No response

“Oh silly!,” Mei laughed, “I don’t care about anything as long as I’m with you!”

No response 

“But are you okay? I mean no one here seems to want to acknowledge you..,”

No response 

“Well it’s their loss! You’re an amazing person that anyone would be lucky to know,” Mei smiled at nothing.

No response 

“It’s true and you know it!” Mei giggled at the silence that was being mistaken for Yuzus’ voice.

No response 

“Yes I’m certain,”

No response 

“I love you too, Yuzu.”

No response 

There she lay, a poor soul so broken she doesn’t even know. A girl who once chose obligation over love and paid for it with the life of Yuzu and her own sanity. The once bold student council President now nothing more than another patient in a psychiatric hospital.

After the events of what should’ve been her 3rd anniversary, Meis’ mind completely shattered once again. When she woke up from passing out, Mei had only one thing on her mind.

“Mommy? Daddy? Where’s my Yuzu?” 

That sentence was the one that broke Ume to her core and back. You could see her physically fall into a lifetime of depression, unable to make Mei relive losing Yuzu again.

The only thing Shou knew was that they failed and Mei was still in desperate need of saving. One thing he wasn’t sure how to do.

Mei needed help, more than he or any of them could give. So, he sought out professional help. All he had to do was ask Mei to go and she happily obliged her dad.

One meeting with a professional psychologist and it was clear Mei was mentally ill. The way she acted regarding the urn was an instant red flag. Anytime anyone would try and take it away she became as rage filled as she did at Ume on her 3rd anniversary.

So, thanks to some convincing, Mei was committed to the hospital. Shou had promised she could go with Yuzu but once Mei had shown up she felt betrayed. The gold urn was confiscated and over only 1 week Mei experienced almost every emotion she knew.

First, she was rage filled. Demanding to be reunited with her true love immediately. “GIVE ME MY YUZU RIGHT NOW!” She’d scream relentlessly while banging on the door for hours, not caring about how much it hurt.

Second, she was more willing to work something out. Trying desperately to negotiate anything to be with Yuzu. “Okay okay okay, can I PLEASE have my Yuzu?”

Third, she became desperate. She pleaded and begged relentlessly for her Yuzu. But they didn’t care. The staff refused to give her the urn.

“Please! You don’t understand! I need her! I...I’ll do whatever you want! Just let me see her!” Mei had screamed before curling up in a ball of crying sobs.

Finally, unable to cope with being away from Yuzu, the crying mess that was Mei Aihara reached a breaking point.

She didn’t care if nothing was there, Mei needed Yuzu more than air itself. In her mind, Yuzu was just there. No urn, nothing. Just Yuzu.

And when Mei saw her beautiful blonde laying next to her, all she could do was smile through the tears that had been streaming down her face.

“There you are, my love. I’ve missed you.”

Now, Mei lives in a true paradise. Yuzu when she wakes up, Yuzu during the day, Yuzu when she falls asleep. As long as she had Yuzu she couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) all thanks and etc will come at the end.  
> 2) this chapter was inspired bt a quote I heard from DITF blue ray “love is a fate worse than death”.  
> 3) when done please let me know which ending you choose.  
> 4) hope you enjoy.  
> 5) art is from the redditor KitsuneOtaku03. they've done all the art in this story and other incredible pieces. please check them out , theres a lot of cute citrus works


	6. Ending love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SERIOUS WARNING
> 
> TAKE THIS SERIOUS. SERIOUS TOPICS AHEAD

Mei was laying there in her room, having a peaceful slumber. “Mmm Yuzu,” Mei said while asleep, having a beautiful dream of the one she loves. It had been going well until Mei heard the sound of crying.

The crying sounded painful, more painful than anything Mei had ever heard in her life. 

“W...what?” Mei said drowsily as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. She instantly woke up when she saw it was Yuzu making the crying.

“Yuzu? Yuzu what’s wrong??” Mei got up from the bed and ran over to Yuzu.

“M....Mei,” Yuzu cried, clenching the ring like there’s no tomorrow. “Please come back....,” 

“Come back??? Yuzu what are you talking about???” Mei put her hands on Yuzus’ shoulders. Despite that, Yuzu wasn’t acknowledging the touch.

“I promise I won’t be worthless! Please Mei!” Yuzu begged as her voice cracked more and more.

“I won’t bother you....won’t annoy you....won’t rush you...whatever you want..,” Yuzu begged no one in a whimper.

“Worthless???? Yuzu stop speaking like that!” Mei demanded to no avail, hating that Yuzu would even consider anything like that.

“I..I need you...,” Yuzu continued her cries as she curled up into a ball on the floor. The sight was one that truly broke Meis’ heart.

“I’m right here Yuzu!” Mei screamed trying to get any sort of recognition from Yuzu.

“I can’t do this....,” Yuzu cried in defeat. “I can’t do it anymore.....,”

“Yuzu what are you...?” Mei fearfully spoke as Yuzu got up from the floor.

“Mei.....Mama......I’m sorry,” Yuzu continued her cries of pain as she opened the door to the balcony.

“Yuzu stop!” Mei tried to grab and stop Yuzu but nothing was working. “Yuzu!”

“Please.....forgive me...,” Yuzu cried, approaching the wall of the balcony. “G..goodbye.” 

“YUZU STOP!!!” Mei screamed at the top of her lungs as she desperately tried to pull Yuzu away from the balcony wall. But Meis’ efforts were proven to be useless....

With that, Mei watched as the love of her life plummeted down to her death. A truly horrific sight for anyone to experience, especially when it’s someone you love.

“NOOO!” Mei screamed as she shot up from her slumber. Her experience being nothing more than the worst nightmare of her life.

“No! No no no no no no” Mei cried as she shakily hugged herself. She was currently in the room she and Yuzu shared, being placed there after passing out.

“C..come back!! Come back!” Mei begged desperately. “I need you!”

“I deserve this,”

“I deserve more than this,”

“It’s my fault after all,”

“I killed Yuzu,”

“Now I need to suffer,”

“Stop! Please.....,”

“I can’t take this!”

“Yuzu couldn’t take it when I killed her!”

“STOP!”

“I deserve to rot!”

“I never deserved her,”

“Please stop....,”

“She did so much for me...,”

“Saved me...,”

“Loved me....,”

“And what did I do?”

“I killed her,”

“I can’t....,”

“I can’t...,”

Mei felt like she was having the same painful thoughts forced into in mind repeatedly with no end in sight. If it were to keep up, she’d go insane. But right now, a part of her wouldn’t mind.

Constantly reminded herself of her sins and the fact that she deserves this pain she’s feeling. An endless cycle with no foreseeable end.

This was gonna be Meis’ new existence. Just dwelling on the pain of losing Yuzu and how she deserves this.

The few minutes she sat there crying felt like hours of pure torment. These thoughts deteriorated Meis’ mind and heart until she became too weak to fight. Mei then hit another breaking point, this one perhaps worse than the first...

“I don’t care...,”

“Nothing matters...,”

“I lost Yuzu already....,”

“She’s all I need....,”

“There’s no point...,”

“She’s gone...,”

“I can’t do this....,”

“No more....,”

“Even though I should suffer...,”

“I can’t....,”

“I’m sorry...,”

With those thoughts in mind, the only thing left within Mei was despair. True despair to her soul in back.

She was done. Mei can’t handle her retribution, no one could handle a hell like this. 

Now, Mei wasn’t even going to suffer like she knows she deserves. Instead, she’s going to once again make others suffer for her choice. If that meant she rotted in hell so be it.

But she couldn’t care. Not anymore. Caring only caused too much pain.

With that, Mei Aihara went out to the balcony and was never heard from again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) all thanks etc will come at the ending.  
> 2) this was the ending I was initial going to pick tbh. But with everything going on I didn’t feel like I could do it. Well just it.  
> 3) I know it may not feel as intense (Meis’ breakdown) as before but honestly I didn’t feel like there was anything I haven’t said already and didn’t wanna repeat. I think everyone had a good idea what she thinking.  
> 4) suicide is NEVER the option. If you’re feeling like it’s even a choice than don’t be afard to seek out help. 18002738255 is the national suicide helpline. Don’t be ashamed if you feel you need to call them.  
> 5) please let me know which ending you’re choosing.  
> 6) art is from KitsuneOtaku03 on reddit. they have done all the art you may have seen during this fanfic and have done some genuinely cute works. please check them out, their work is amazing


	7. Beautiful Finale

“I love you Mei, and I promise you I’ll always need you.” Yuzu said as she caught her breath.

“So Mei if you feel the same way.....please just kiss me,” she closed her eyes and wanted for a pending response.

“Feel the same way?” Mei thought to herself. “I love her more....so much more than she can imagine....,”.

“I think to say I’m obsessed would be an understatement.....oh. She’s still waiting for me,” Mei thought as her heart fluttered. 

“....yes, Yuzu.” Mei said before closing the gap between their lips. This is it. This is everything Mei has ever wanted. All the years of suffering alone had lead to Yuzu and it was all worth it.

Mei knew this was a feeling she was never going to forget, and she loved every moment of it. The honesty, the taste of Yuzus’ lips, everything.

After their kiss ended, Mei wasted no time pull Yuzu into a warm hug. “I love you, Yuzu. I really love you....,” she said as happy tears fell from her eyes.

Their love was now mutual and confirmed, Yuzu loved Mei and Mei loved Yuzu. Finally, Meis’ life had true happiness.

“Is that so?” Yuzu asked while still in the hug. She sounded like she was riding a high from having mutual love, purely happy.

“Yes! Of course. I love you and I promise I’ll always love you,” Mei said as her smile grew. 

“Then....why did you kill me?” Yuzu said, her demeanor kept dropping after every word. Her voice sounding ice cold by the time she finished speaking.

“What?!?!?!” Mei broke the hug and look Yuzu in the eyes, her hands still on the blondes shoulders. “Kill you?? Yuzu...I...I could never hurt you...,”

Yuzus’ eyes remained unfazed at the comment, showing nothing but disbelief. “Yuzu...I..I kissed you! We love each other right??? Right???? That’s what that kiss meant.”

“You’re right....,” tears started falling out of Yuzus’ eyes as she spoke. At first Mei thought they were happy tears but it didn’t take long to realize that wasn’t the case.

The blonde beautys’ face was slowly turning into one of pain and suffering. Similar to the time she came home crying, instantly worrying Mei.

“Yuzu...,” Mei hugged her instantly, “whatever is wrong...w..we can handle it together! That’s what couples do! So please....what’s wrong???” She pleaded, tears falling from her own eyes now.

“It’s...it’s just like I said...,” Yuzu started, “you were right about what that kiss meant....,”

“So why are you so sad???” Mei cut her off, squeezing her lover tighter.

“Because...even though we loved each other.....,” Mei felt Yuzu start to feel like she was disappearing, “you still killed me.....,”

“Yuzu no! I....,” when Mei opened her eyes she didn’t see the love of her life. She was all alone. All alone except a gold colored Urn that is.

Mei felt her heart race and anxiety build as she looked at the urn and noticed what was engraved. “You Killed Yuzu Aihara.”

“No....no I.....,” 

BANG

She got cut off by a loud sound from behind her.The sound of bones cracking made Meis’ blood run cold as she slowly turned to see what was the cause of the noise.

“Oh my god!” She screamed once her eyes laid upon Yuzus’ corpse. Mei couldn’t see a face but she knew that blonde hair anywhere, it was her. It was the love of her life.

The love of her life now nothing more than a corpse, slowly creating a puddle of blood on Meis’ knees.

“AAHHHHHHHHHH” Mei screamed in horror as she shot up from her slumber, her nightmare both ending and continuing.

“No! No no no....I need her,” Mei started to cry at her new reality. “Please Yu...come back.....I...I can’t!”

Feeling an urge to scream, Mei pulled a pillow close to her face and let out a heart breaking scream.

“I’ll be good.....please yu...yu....,” Mei found herself to pained to even speak the name of her love. “Please....,” she continued, face still in the pillow.

“Y..yu....,” Mei continued to cry, still feeling unable to utter the name. She hadn’t noticed but she was now resting in her old room, where Shou put her when she passed out.

“Wait....,” she thought to herself through her tears. “I don’t deserve to cry....I killed.....,” Mei then let out a loud growl as she tore up her pillow with a single pull. All of her emotions seemingly hitting a breaking point.

“Cry.....,”

“Don’t cry....,”

“Don’t deserve.....,”

“I killed Yuzu....,”

“It’s okay to cry....,”

“I have no right....,”

“I killed Yuzu....,”

“I love Yuzu....,”

“I’d never kill Yuzu.....,”

“I killed Yuzu...,”

“Cry....,”

“Don’t cry....,”

“I....I can’t do this...,” Mei let herself cry some more. “I....I’m sorry Yuzu....I wanna be strong but.....,” she felt herself continue to be assaulted by her thoughts.

“Who could live like this???.” Mei looked over at her balcony as she cried.

Thoughts of Yuzu and the sight of the balcony gave Mei a sinister revelation. “......that’s it......,”

“I can’t handle these....these thoughts.....not anymore......,” she got out of bed.

“This is it......it’s gonna be okay,” Mei thought as she walked to the glass door.

“I....I don’t have to have these thoughts....,” she opened the door.

“I can be with her......,” she walked outside, feeling the cold breeze skim her body.

“I’ll go to her......,” she made her way to the same spot Yuzu last stood while alive.

“We’re gonna be together.....that’s all that matters......,” Mei looked over the balcony wall as she prepared herself. 

In this moment, nothing else mattered. College, friends, family, nothing. The only thing of importance was being with Yuzu, in one way or another.

“I....I’m coming Yuzu,” Mei formed a broken smile. This was it. She was finally going to be reunited with the love of her life. No more pain. No more torture. Just love and happiness.

The broken girl felt herself lean over the ledge more and more, putting more weight into it as her smile grew. “I’ll see you soon, my love,” she smiled as she felt herself lean with all her weight. Finally, being freed from her pain.

“Mei stop!”

And everything went white.

She couldn’t tell how long it lasted, this blinding bright light, but when Mei could finally see it didn’t help much. There she was, standing in what looked like clouds stretching as far as the eye can see.

“Whe....where am I?” Mei thought as she looked around confusingly. There was nothing anywhere that could be seen. Only thing that seemed to exist was Mei and Mei alone.

“Hey, Mei...,” a familiar voice came from behind Mei, making her instinctively smile.

“It worked....,” Mei thought as she turned around and was met with a beautiful blonde standing before her.

There she was, the girl with a heart as golden as her hair. The same one who owned Meis’ heart, even after everything that has happened. Yuzu looked as perfect as Mei could remember, beautiful emerald eyes along with golden locks of hair.

Nothing changed, she was still Meis’ definition of perfect. A truly angelic sight for the younger Aihara.

“Y.....Yu....,” Mei spoke in amazement and disbelief. “I......,” Mei started to speak but stopped.

Mei wanted this, she wanted to be reunited with Yuzu more than anything. She was certain of that. But now that she was ,what felt like, truly face to face with her everything suddenly became more difficult.

Every thought she has had seemingly millions of times about how she killed Yuzu were resurfacing at once. Mei now found herself feeling too scared to face Yuzu.

She killed Yuzu....

“...what if she hates me?”

“Please....I...cant....,”

“I’d deserve it.....,”

“Hate me. Please.....,”

“I’m sorry.......,”

“Save me Yuzu!”

“It’s okay,” Yuzu smiled as she approached Mei, “it’s all gonna be okay.”

The younger woman wasn’t aware of the pained look she had on her face. That or the tears that had started to stream from her eyes.

Mei kept battling herself as Yuzu approached her. Every millisecond felt like an hour as her anxiety and fear grew regarding how this could play out.

“She’s smiling at me....,”

“She said it’s okay....,”

“Yuzu should hate me....;”

“I hate me.....,”

“Please don’t hate me....,”

“I love you too much....,”

“If she hates me there’s no escape....,”

“This’ll be hell.....,”

“Hate me! I deserve it! I killed you....,”

“Love me! I need it! I love you....,”

“Hate me,”

“Love me...,”

“Kill me....,”

“Save me.....,”

“I just want this to..........”

Everything stopped. All of Meis’ thoughts. All of her pain and anxiety. Everything suddenly came to an abrupt end.

The warmth of Yuzus’ arms as they enveloped Mei made the younger woman feel like all her pain instantly melted away. 2 years of repression swallowed by delusions felt like nothing more than a bad dream. 

“......Yu....Yuzu!” Mei cried as she returned the hug, not being bothered by her own tears. “I..I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have left....I should’ve chosen....,”

Mei choked up as she released everything she should’ve said. “I should’ve chosen you! Not the dam academy! Please....,”

“Please forgive me.....please please please......,” Meis’ voice cracked after every plea for forgiveness. If Yuzu hated her, Mei didn’t know what she’d do.

Meis’ heart felt ready to explode with anxiety while waiting for her beloved to speak. Her racing heart felt calmed when she felt Yuzu rubbing her back.

“......it’s okay,” Yuzu spoke, making Meis’ eyes go wide and heart flutter. “Don’t worry Mei, it’s all gonna be okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“A..anything wrong!? I..I killed you!” Meis’ words were rigid. “Its all my fault....,” she continued through her sobs of pain.

“You didn’t do anything Mei,” Yuzus’ voice was as warm and welcoming as ever, “what I did was, well.....,”

Yuzu disengaged the hug so she could look Mei in the eyes. “It was my decision, I chose to do it. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Those emerald eyes were as beautiful and honest as Mei remembered. She wanted to believe but was too scared. 

“..b.but I,” Mei started as Yuzu whipped her tears away. “It wouldn’t have happened if I....i....,” she continued, only stopping to let out a cry of pain.

“I’m sorry Yuzu!” Mei said, sounding full of despair. The look on Meis face combined with the strain in her voice was enough to break anyone’s heart.

“You poor thing,” Yuzu gave a sad smiled as tears fell from her eyes. She again wiped Meis’ eyes free of tears. “You’ve been through so much. So much suffering....,”

Meis’ demeanor grew to a concerned one as her love cried. “I wanted to make you happy....To stay by your side and make you smile, day in and day out....,” Yuzus’ voice started to crack more and more.

“Instead....I made you suffer...,” Yuzu cried as Mei watched, feeling the same pain. “I..I made you blame yourself for my choice....and...,”

“I made YOU suffer for MY choice!” Mei retorted, wanting to steal Yuzus’ pain away if even a little. Anything to lift the burden Yuzu was carrying.

The girls’ eyes were locked on each other’s as they both registered what had been said. Mei feared whatever may happen.

All that fear went away when Yuzu let out a sound that made Meis’ heart race. It was the cutest laugh she had heard in years and Mei loved every second of it.

“I’m sorry,” Yuzu said while laughing. Mei wasn’t entirely sure why she was laughing but had no complaints. It was a sound greater than any song.

“We drive each other crazy don’t we?” Yuzu spoke once her laughing steadily ended. Mei took a few seconds to register what she meant, but did manage to see the irony in what was said.

“I guess we do, Yuzu,” Mei said a little chuckle of her own. Her smile making the blonde blush a little. 

An awkward but beautiful silence fell upon the young women, but neither minded. Just being next to Yuzu was everything Mei needed to feel happy. 

So much was wanted to be said, but Mei didn’t mind. For the first time in years, she felt happy, truly happy. Together with Yuzu, forever. She just wanted to enjoy this feeling for as long as possible, not like she was in a hurry anymore.

“Hm?” Yuzu looked into the ongoing nothingness around them like she was listening to something.

“Yuzu? What’s wrong?” Mei looked in the same direction as Yuzu, seeing nothing but clouds that barely passed their knees.

“We’re almost out of time,” Yuzu said with a sad smile.

“What??” Meis’ eyes went wide at the comment as her confusion grew. She hadn’t a clue what Yuzu meant.

“We’re almost out of time,” Yuzu repeated, still unhappy about the news.

“What do you mean ‘out of time’?” Mei asked, anxiety growing at the potential outcome.

“You gotta go back soon,” Yuzu said calmly, still not being thrilled by the news.

“Go back where?? Yuzu I..I don’t gotta go back anywhere,” Mei took Yuzus’ hands in her own.

“Here. With you. That’s where I belong. No where else,” Mei said as Yuzu blushed at both her comment and her actions.

Yuzu couldn’t remember Mei ever grabbing her hands like this, but she loved it. Even if it wasn’t the ideal scenario for the pair.

“I’m dead, Mei.....,” Yuzu said calmly, trying to keep her composure. “You’re not. You can still live a whole life, one filled with happiness and joy.”

“B..but I am!” Mei declared, “I..I jumped...I wanted to be with you....I need to be with you.” She sounded more desperate word after word.

Yuzu gave her an actual smile at the desire to be together. If things were different than that comment would’ve meant the world to Yuzu. In some ways, it still did.

“You didn’t jump Mei....by some miracle I got to you before you did it,” Yuzu squeezed Meis’ hands.

It didn’t make a lot of sense what was happening, but Mei didn’t care. All she focused on was wanting to stay with Yuzu.

“T...then I’ll jump when I get back! Please....I can’t lose you again.....” Mei cried as she pulled Yuzu into a hug.

It truly broke Yuzus’ heart to hear that from Mei. The young woman loved her so much she’d be willing to die if it meant they could be together.

“Out of the question,” Yuzu said firmly as she hugged Mei, embracing the warmth she offered.

“B...but we could...,”

“I regret what I did....everyday. Seeing everyone I love suffer as they wish they could’ve done more....,” Yuzu said as she was tormented by memories of watching Ume and Mei after finding out about her death.

The pained screams of the woman who raised Yuzu were forever engraved into Yuzus’ memory. Meis’ lack of reaction hurt as well, only Yuzu knew she was mentally falling more and more.

“I should’ve considered everyone else’s feelings but I didn’t.....,” Yuzu teared up thinking about Harumins’ breakdown when she heard.

After the incident, Harumin never was much into make up afterwards. She’d occasionally still dress up but it felt rather bitter to do it without her best friend.

“I don’t want them to go through something like that again....and you,” Yuzu cupped Meis’ cheeks in her hands.

“I don’t want you to have a similar pain that I feel everyday...,” Yuzu stared deeply into Meis eyes. Hoping she would understand.

“Th...then what....,” Mei started before getting cut off abruptly.

“I’m gonna wait, Mei.” Yuzu started as she took Meis’ hands in her own, still not breaking eye contact.

“What...what do you mean?” Mei asked.

“I know how much you love me and how badly you wanna be with me. So...I’m gonna wait. Right here. Until it’s your time to join me.” Yuzu smiled as tears fell from her face.

“...don’t you want us to be together??” Mei cried as her heart begun to ache. Suddenly feeling scared of Yuzu not loving her.

“Of course I do,” Yuzu let out some tears thinking of all potential ways their lives could’ve gone together. 

They could’ve gotten married, they could’ve gotten a nice house together as wife and wife. Together, the possibilities were endless. However, it wasn’t meant to be unfortunately.

“Then I’ll jump and be with you!” Mei declared, hoping Yuzu would like the idea now.

“Do you know what I want? More than anything” Yuzu spoke sincerely, “I do want to be with you...but I also want you to live a long, happy life with everyone....do what I can’t anymore.”

“But I need you!” Mei cried as she desperately wished Yuzu would be okay with her idea.

“I’m gonna be here,” Yuzu smiled as she wiped Meis’ face free of her tears. “Right here, wanting for you. Not matter how long it takes. 20, 50, or even 70 years. I’ll be waiting.”

Mei wanted to be with Yuzu but she also wanted to do whatever it took to make Yuzu happy. Make her happy and make it up to her for not making her happy enough while the blonde lived.

“....are you sure? That will make you happy?” Mei reluctantly asked, still contemplating what to do.

“Yes,” Yuzu said softly without hesitation, “then, when we’re reunited, you can tell me about the life you lived.”

Yuzu had been watching Mei ever since she passed on, through her slow fall into delusion. She saw everything. But this was something Yuzu thought would give Mei more to look forward to.

“.....,” Mei thought as she thought relentlessly about what to do. Be with Yuzu now or make the love of her life even happier by living a whole life.

She then thought back to when she and Yuzu were dating and before. All the times Yuzu did everything she could just to make Mei happy.

Telling the school about Amamiya 

Helping Mei recover from her sickness 

Getting Mei to talk to Shou

Started a part time job to afford a ring

That wasn’t even everything the blonde had done for Mei but it was enough to help Mei decide. 

“....okay, Yuzu.” Mei smiled at the other woman. “I’ll live a whole life, one you’ll love to hear about. Whatever it takes to make you happy.”

Yuzu blushed at the boldness of the way Mei declared her decision, especially the part about wanting to make Yuzu happy.

“Thank you....and I’ll keep my end of the deal and wait for you.” The older woman promised.

“Umm,” Mei said as her ear tips begun to burn. It felt so weird to actually ask something like this, especially for the first time in years.

“Before I go...Yuzu....,” she gulped, “c..could we kiss? Just one more time?”

One kiss to last a life time..

Yuzu said nothing as she wrapped her arms around Meis’ neck and lifted herself on her tip toes. Mei shakily wrapped her arms around Yuzus’ waist as their lips clashed.

It felt real, just like years ago. Mei knew this was the last time she’d experience this feeling so she was savoring everything. The warmth of Yuzus’ lips, the taste she has long forgotten, every little detail were ones Mei would always remember.

“I love you, Mei,” Mei heard despite their lips still being locked. Everything was starting to glow a bright white, signifying the end.

“And I love you, Yuzu,” Mei said before everything went white.

  


It was a little past 1 am but that didn’t mean much to Ume. After everything that had transpired earlier, sleep felt impossible. Instead, she simply sat at her desk, unable to even consider sleep

She still couldn’t believe everyone else managed to sleep, especially Shou. He didn’t admit it but Ume noticed he took something to help, she wouldn’t blame him. Today was as painful for him as it was her after all. Everyone else was already sleeping in the living room, waiting to see how Mei is.

Ume couldn’t help but worry what may happen with her step daughter. She truly feared Mei being swallowed by her delusions again and believing Yuzu was alive.

Watching Mei learn the truth again felt impossible for Ume, for anyone. What parent could possible handle that? Constantly telling someone the love of their life was dead.

“Come On Mei.....please,” Ume thought as she curled into a ball on her chair and quietly sobbed.

All she wanted was to save Mei. Save Mei and make it up to Yuzu by at least being there for one daughter. The daughter Yuzu loved. 

Knock knock knock

“Hm?” Umes’ head shot up at the sudden noise. She was certain everyone was sleeping so hearing a knock wasn’t expected. Especially at this hour.

“Hello?” Ume asked as she opened the door. Her eyes went wide when she saw Mei standing before her, her face down making it hard for Ume to see her face.

“Sweetie! You’re awake!” Ume pulled her only daughter close, feeling thankful for her health.

“She’s gone, mom.....,” Mei started, while returning the hug. She felt truly blessed today, thanks to everyone she loves.

“Huh?” Ume stopped to look Mei in the eyes. 

“But it’s okay,” Mei looked up with a smile and stream of tears, the first real one Ume had seen from her in years. “Because I’ll see her again someday.”

“Mei....,” Ume started crying as she pulled her daughter into another hug. She hadn’t noticed how loud she was but didn’t care. 

“Thank you for today,” Mei cried as she returned the hug. Knowing Yuzu was gone was a living hell, but now she can truly live a life Yuzu would be proud of.

They did it, Mei was saved. Despite everything, Ume actually helped and could save at least one of her daughters. 

She made good on the promise to save the woman Yuzu loved. Finally, the nightmare could end.

Today’s mission: successful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) you can probably see why I couldn’t choose the endings, they are fairly different. I consider this one to be the beautiful ending but if i had just chose it I worried it’d drag the rest down.  
> 2) They were talking in heaven and by some miracle Yuzu stopped Meis’ attempt to join her. Sounds weird considering the rest of the fanfic....I know  
> 3) again, Suicide is NEVER even almost an option. It’s okay to seek help, all your loved ones want is your health. If you wanna talk let me know, I’m no professional but I’ll try.  
> 4) I hope you enjoyed.  
> 5)art from KitsuneOtaku03 on reddit. they always do incredible art please check them out


	8. Sorry Together

“It hurts.....,”

Beep

“Everything hurts.....,”

Beep

“Everyday....,”

Beep

“I miss her.....,”

Beep

“I need her.....,”

Beep

“But she’s gone.......,”

Beep

“I’m worthless....,”

Beep 

“Worthless....,”

Beep

“But....it’s over...,”

Beep

“No more pain...,”

“Vitals....all good. Heart rate seems normal. Stitches......appear to be holding holding up. Alright,” the woman spoke after writing everything down on her clipboard.

“Poor thing.....,” she gave a sad smile as she looked at the recently stitched up forearm. “Don’t worry Yuzuko. You’re safe here at Sanno Hospital...I’ll come check up on you soon.”

Atsuko, Yuzus’ nurse, then left the room, leaving her to her slumber. There she lay, the young blonde who still hasn’t awoken since her mother found her hours before.

It was a horrible sight, one that would haunt any mother or parent for that matter. Seeing your daughter lay in a pile of their own blood, not knowing if they were even breathing, is something any parent fears.

Unfortunately, Ume had to live that nightmare several hours ago. She had just wanted to check up on Yuzu, unfortunately there was no way to prepare to experience what awaited. 

Now, Yuzu lays in the hospital, still unconscious from blood loss. She dreams of an odd, frightening future. One where Mei ends up being consumed by guilt over Yuzus’ death and changes.

She hurts so much that Mei become deluded and believed Yuzu was still alive. Not only that but they were still dating , living their lives together. 

This dream, or nightmare, truly hurt Yuzus’ heart. In her mind, she was deceased. Gone and simply left to watch while Mei suffers so much, more than Yuzu could handle watching.

Mei was hurt so much and she didn’t even know. Yuzu kept hoping their friends and family would save her, and it looked like they finally had. Until Mei was more miserable with the truth than she was oppressing it.

All she wanted was to wrap her arms around Mei and say “it’s okay, I’m here.” But she couldn’t. To Yuzu, she’s nothing more than a viewer of the scene playing out.

“Mei.....,”

“Please don’t cry.....,”

“I’m sorry!”

“All I do is cause her pain....,”

“No wonder she didn’t want me....,”

“I wouldn’t either....,”

“Wait....,”

“What’s she doing?”

“Mei.....,”

“What....,”

“Don’t jump!” Yuzu shouted as she shot up from her comatose state, accidentally sending a wave of pain through her arm.

“What the....,” Yuzu thought as she looked at the cause of her pain and noticed the stitches, only adding to the confusion.

Instead of being in what Yuzu presumed to be heaven watching over her former lover, she was in a hospital bed with a stitched up forearm.

Her fear of whatever Mei might have done and anxiety of the pain shooting through her arm only made Yuzus’ heart race for the wrong reasons.

So many things weren’t adding up. It just wasn’t making any sense. Yuzu was at a loss.

“Yuzuko” Atsuko came running in after hearing her yell of fear, “are you okay??” 

“What...who....,” Yuzu started to speak, still unknowing of her actual situation.

“You’re in the hospital Yuzuko,” the nurse spoke calmly, “you’re gonna be okay though.”

“...but why?? Why am I....,” Yuzu spoke as she put her hand over her eye and tried to think. 

“There was an..incident. But it’s all gonna be okay. You’re safe here.” The nurse continued speaking calmly and warmly. 

Yuzu locked eyes with the nurse as hundreds of thoughts ran through her mind. 

“Incident?”

“Hospital??”

“Why?”

“How???”

“But....I jumped....,”

“I should be dead....,”

“How am I alive?”

“Did Mei jump??”

“Is she okay??”

“What’s going on????”

So many questions ran through her mind, but the one thing Yuzu knew for sure was she needed answers.

“Nurse..what was the incident?” Yuzu spoke quietly, already having a solid idea thanks to her stitches.

“You had a cut and suffered severe blood loss,” she gestured to Yuzus’ forearm. “As you can see you’re all stitched up. Feel free to ask any questions, confusion is a pretty common side effect.”

“I...I...,” Yuzu started tearing up as she spoke. She did it. She tried to die. Now everyone knows how pained she feels. How hopeless she is on the inside.

“No no no no no no no,” Yuzu cried as her heart raced more and more. “I can’t!” She scratched her head ferociously with her good arm.

“I can’t face everyone.....,”

“What would I say????”

“ ‘sorry I tried to kill myself?’,”

“Oh god! They must be scared!”

“And worried!”

“Mei...,”

“Mama....,”

“Papa...,”

“Matsuri....,”

“No no no no no no....,”

“I can’t face them....,”

“I’m too scared....,”

“Save me Mei!”

“She won’t....,”

“Why couldn’t I have just died!” Yuzu cried out loud, startling her nurse. The young blonde sounded filled with immeasurable pain.

Despite having to be what could be considered “professional”, Yuzus’ nurse instantly pulled the young Aihara into a hug. Praying it could at least somewhat comfort her.

“Don’t say that. You’re alive, Yuzuko. That’s all your loved ones care about, there’s no need to feel scared or ashamed. They all just want you to be safe,” the nurse spoke in a very motherly tone.

She had lost count of the amount of times she had a patient in a similar situation as Yuzus. A poor soul had a failed attempt at suicide and afterwards felt too scared or ashamed to face the people they love. Of course most of them came around and finally saw their loved ones. So, she had hopes of Yuzu coming around.

“You have nothing to be scared, worried or ashamed of....you’re human. Humans make mistakes, it’s only natural.” She continued as Yuzu cried in her arms.

“I....I’m scared...so so scared,” Yuzu said between her sobs. “What can I say to them???”

“That’s simple,” the nurse continued in her motherly tone. “You tell them how you feel by speaking from the heart. They love you, they’ll understand.”

“All they want is for you to be happy and healthy. That’s all anyone wants for the ones they love,” she finished.

“I know she’s right...,”

“They love me...,”

“They want what’s best for me....,”

“Everyone does....,”

“Doesn’t make it easier....,”

“When..when do visiting hours start?”Yuzu asked after collecting her thoughts. She was full aware her family wouldn’t waste any time coming.

“Just under 2 hours,” the women ended the hug and smiled.

“I...I see...thank you....,” Yuzu clutched her blanket in her hands, fearing what’s to come in 2 short hours. 

“Do you need anything? I can stay and talk for a while.” Atsuko offered very sincerely.

“No...thanks nurse.” Yuzu said in a monotone voice.

“Alright...,” the nurse stopped before leaving, “I’ll be back later to check on you, try and get some sleep if you can.”

Yuzu simply nodded and was then left alone with her thoughts.

“Speak from my heart?”

“My heart hurts..,”

“How can I speak from a broken heart?”

“ ‘I’m sorry Mama..Mei and I were....,’”

“She could hate me...,”

“Mama wouldn’t hate me...,”

“Maybe I should just be honest....,”

“Not like I got much choice now....,”

“What if Mei comes????”

“Not like she’d care....,”

“She loved me! Don’t think that...,”

“I wanna believe she did anyway...,”

“Why am I this worthless...,”

“No wonder a job is more important....,”

“I don’t wanna be me....,”

“I don’t care....,”

“Please...Mei,”

“Save me....,”

“Please....,”

“I need you....,”

“Mei.....,”

“Yuzuko,” Atsuko said, pulling Yuzu away from her pained thoughts. She couldn’t help but wanna laugh at the surprised expression on Yuzus’ face.

“I’m sorry,” Yuzu started, “What is it nurse?”

“In case you didn’t know, visiting hours start soon,” Atsuko pointed out, “figured I could make sure you knew.”

“It does????” Yuzu said with another surprised expression.

“Yes, Only 10 minutes to go.” The nurse answered. Yuzu had been so deep in thought she completely lost track of time. Still didn’t feel anymore prepared now than she did 2 hours ago.

“I see,” Yuzu looked down, her demeanor fell. The nurse couldn’t tell if it was from fear or sadness.

“If you’re not ready to see them I can tell them for you,” Atsuko offered in an obvious attempt to help. “I’m sure they’d understand.”

“Thanks....but there’s no point in running,” Yuzu said shakily, feeling uncertain in her words.

“Alright...remember,” Atsuko stopped before leaving, “they love you Yuzuko.”

“Thanks,” Yuzu gave her a weak smile before being left alone. Alone with her thoughts of fear.

Each second that passed felt like an eternity as she tried to prepare herself for whatever may come. She tried to no prevail. All Yuzu could think of was what everyone might say and what she may have to say.

The truth about being gay, gay with her step sister was about to practically be public knowledge between anyone she knows. 

The feeling of being worth less than a job or a tittle and all the pain it caused. On top of that, once Mei hears the truth she might blame herself. Mei will again suffer for Yuzus’ doing.

Ume suffered

Shou suffered

Everyone suffered in fear and it was all Yuzus’ fault. All Yuzus’ fault and she knew it. 

Knock knock knock

Yuzu instantly stiffened up as her heart tried to prepare for what’s to come. She could feel her heart ready to explode as the door opened, in what felt like slow motion.

In what looked like a blur, Yuzu suddenly felt someone hugging her. The hugger was sobbing profusely.

“M...ama,” Yuzu said choking up and closing her eyes, too terrified to see.

“Hey Sweetie,” Ume said from the door, eyes filled with tears and a sad but beautiful smile. There was a red puffiness around her eyes and she looked like a mess. It was clear she was up all night crying for her daughter and hoping she’d be okay.

“....then...,” Yuzus’ eyes opened and went wide when she saw the beautiful black hair she loved. 

“Mei....,” Yuzu thought as she begun to feel her heart aching. It was the first time seeing Mei in months and the student council President was nothing more than a crying mess. 

“Y...Yuzu...Yuzu Yuzu Yuzu Yuzu,” Mei cried between her sobs. Each one sounded more painful than the other.

“It’s my fault....,”

“Please don’t cry...,”

“Please....,”

“I...I’m....,” Yuzu started

“I’m sorry!” Mei cried into Yuzus’ neck. “Yuzu I’m so sorry!” Her voice strained from a night of crying and was cracking a lot.

“I’m sorry....I’m sorry.....I’m sorry,” Mei begged relentlessly for forgiveness or any sort of comfort. Anything that’ll help.

“P...please.....,” Yuzu barely whispered. “Don’t....don’t cry,” unable to resist her own tears Yuzu begin crying herself.

“Please don’t cry Mei,” Yuzu begged as she went to hug Mei but stopped out of fear of what they were. Or really, what they weren’t. 

“I..I...I’m sorry...I’m so sorry,” Yuzu cried.

“It’s all my fault....,” Mei cried, still attached to Yuzu. “You could’ve...d.died and it would’ve been all my fault!”

Mei then looked up from Yuzu and the blonde got a good look at her face. She had dark circles underneath her red puffy eyes. The pained look on her face and in her eyes looked like she had experienced years of pain and loneliness since seeing Yuzu. In reality, it had barely been month.

“Please!,” Mei begged as tears fell from her eyes. “Don’t leave me...please Yuzu...,”

“I....I..,” Yuzu started but Mei cut her off, hugging her tightly.

“I can’t lose you!” Mei screamed so loud it caught even Ume off guard. Ume was patiently waiting for her chance to really talk to Yuzu but knew how important this was to them. Even though she had a lot to to say.

“Can’t lose me?” Yuzu thought. Mei had lost her already, in fact she was the one who gave Yuzu up. She no longer was Meis’ to lose.

But hearing that, Yuzu felt like she truly understood what Mei really meant and the feelings behind it. Even though they were apart, Mei still had strong feelings for Yuzu. And Yuzu had strong feelings for Mei.

Yuzu would feel the same had it been Mei in the hospital. Breaking up was hard enough but losing the love of your life like that? Unbearable.

Neither of them want a world where the other isn’t in it. Even if they aren’t dating, they need each other to at least be alive.

“Never again...,” Meis’ cries of pain made it almost impossible to hear or comprehend her.

“Wh...what?” Yuzu asked, still being surprised if everything that has been said.

“I....I’m never leaving your side again...ever,” Mei declared giving Yuzu a comforting squeeze. “Even if you hate me...I don’t care! Never again!”

Yuzus’ eyes had gone wide at Meis’ declaration, “w..what are you saying?”

“Meis’ coming home,” Ume finally chimed in, offering her daughter a warm smile. Last night, after returning home from the hospital, Mei confessed her own guilt to Ume and everything else it ensues. Their relationship, the real motive behind Mei leaving, everything.

Mei owed Ume after all, her eldest daughter almost died and Mei was to blame. She had every right to know. 

Yuzu slightly fidgeted at one of the best sentences she had ever heard. “....why?” She timidly asked. 

“Because I need to protect you.” Mei shakily spoke. Typically Mei never spoke from her heart like this. But right now there was nothing holding her back. She felt fueled with determination to protect and save Yuzu. At any cost.

“Protect me?” Yuzu whispered as tears fell down her face. For the first time in months, Ume saw Yuzu smile. Not the typical forced smile she wore most days. A real smile with pure happiness behind it. 

Ume couldn’t help but cry some happy tears at the sight of her daughter finally looking happy. She missed the sight of her baby smiling everyday.

“Forever.” Mei whispered back. Even if Yuzu did hate or resent Mei, it’d change nothing. Mei was now set to always make sure Yuzu was okay. 

“.....okay,” Yuzu cried, finally returning Meis hug, holding on to her with no intention of ever letting go. Right now the words “I need to protect you” felt worth the same as “I love you”. 

There was a lot more that was needed and desired to be said, but right now Yuzus’ health was what was important. Fortunately, thanks to talking with Mei last night, Ume had a good idea of why Yuzu had attempted to take her life. This made it easier for her to allow their conversation to wait until they’re home, as to Meis’ own request.

The mother told Yuzu they can talk whenever she wants. But, they were certainly going to when she’s home, that was a fact. 

A few days had passed since Yuzu was admitted to the hospital and she was finally cleared to return home. And during each of those days, Mei was with her for every second she was able to. Keeping her promise.

All of Yuzus’ friends had paid her a visit, each one feeling emotional for everyone. Matsuri, Harumi, Nene, Himeko, Shirapon, all of them visited in the few days Yuzu was in the hospital. Even their grandfather had brought flowers when he visited.

Finally, Yuzu was coming home. 

Because they had thrown together a welcome home party, Mei was the only one with Yuzu as they walked to their apartment building from the hospital.

Their was an awkward yet comforting silence between them until they reached the front door to their home. Yuzu had stopped dead in her tracks.

“Yuzu?” Mei asked, a scared looking Yuzu. “What’s wrong??”

“Mei...,” Yuzu scratched her elbow nervously. “I....ummm.” 

“I know what you said....in the hospital....,” Yuzu continued, “but I....I don’t know....,”

Mei continued to wait patiently for Yuzu to finish, taking every word seriously.

There was something Yuzu needed to know for a fact. Once she walks through those doors, everything changes. It’s gonna be emotionally draining for everyone and Yuzu couldn’t face it alone. 

“Do...do you...lov...,” 

Yuzu went silent from Meis’ lips clashing into her own. It was soft, warm and just as Yuzu remembered. The taste of Meis’ lips were better than food. This kiss was one the girls were never going to forget, no matter what. 

“I love you, Yuzu,” Mei blushed as she wiped away the tears that were falling down Yuzus’ face.

With those few words, all of Yuzus’ fear and anxiety of the future vanished. The road ahead was going to be long and painful, but with Mei by her side, Yuzu felt like she could face anything.

“I love you too, Mei,” Yuzu cried as she pulled Mei into a tight hug, one Mei happily returned. 

The warmth of loves’ light was now rekindled within them. Now it was a fire that couldn’t be extinguished, ready for anything.

“Shall we?” Mei offered her hand after the hug ended.

“Yes,” Yuzu smiled brightly as she took her lovers hand and walked into their apartment. Beginning their new life together.

The nightmare was over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) thank you all so much for reading this story! I know it’s been hard for some to read but you handled it all and that means a lot!  
> 2) big thanks to Rebel (you know who you are) they helped a lot when making and finishing these final chapters. Even listened to all my dumb ideas lol  
> 3) please let me know which ending you choose, I know I said this before but I really wanna know.  
> 4) no plans on adding more to this fanfic, MAYBE an epilogue but that’s a Huge maybe. No concrete plans.  
> 5) this ending was for anyone thinking something along the lines of “I don’t care, I just want them to be happy.” Even if it’s a cop out I hope you Liked it.  
> 6) this chapter could’ve been about serious talks (did happen after Yuzu party) but I wanted to hopefully make people smile.  
> 7) someone totally called the endings I had in mind..I had them first you know who you are lol  
> 8) KitsuneOtaku03 actually made some art for this story on Reddit. It’s REALLY good and made me smile like a bitch. 
> 
> https://imgur.com/gallery/1THJoei
> 
> Only used imgur cause I didn’t know how to add them in story or get reddit link. But please check out the redditor, they make incredible art! 
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for reading this story and being there through it all. It means a lot something I wrote can be as emotional as some has said and as liked. Thank you all!

**Author's Note:**

> Potential spoiler warning for anyone who cares
> 
> 1) when did ya realize what had happened to Yuzu? I wanted to tease it a little without full on saying.  
> 2) like I said in the top notes, this story deals with serious topics(Meis mental health). I didn’t put anything in the tags to avoid spoilers.  
> 3) this fanfic takes place after chapter 36, this Mei was the same we see in the manga....if it wasn’t obvious she had a mental breakdown. Everything she says and does (and canon characters reactions) makes more sense with that knowledge.  
> 4) if anyone didn’t notice, they aren’t having a party tomorrow.  
> 5) if Meis Mental health problems Aren’t a deal break you should be warned. She’s not the only one who’ll have mental health issues.  
> 6) mental health is a seriously important thing. If you or anyone you know has similar problems than don’t be afraid to get help, if you need someone to talk I can drop my discord. Help is nothing to be ashamed of.  
> 7) I may be making a bigger deal about mental health than I should (idk) but that’s because we’re gonna get to an unfortunate result of it.....hence the title. So that may be influencing me prematurely.


End file.
